July 30, 2004

Does This Look Like $64K to You?

Actually, it should look like $63,900, plus various closing costs and fees, but who's counting?

Well, besides the bank.

The important thing, of course, is that it looked like $63,900 to the appraisers, even though it was assessed at slightly less; no doubt the solicitors for the school district and local municipal government are already licking their chops, ready to pounce as soon as the sale clears the county courthouse. (Like most predators, they can smell blood from miles away.)

I can't wait until the assessment goes up; I plan to hitch my pants up around my armpits, write out my remarks on a piece of torn-up notebook paper, and deliver them in a trembling voice at the next school board meeting: "I don't have any kids in school! Why should I have to pay school taxes! These lousy teacher unions! Why back in my day, teachers worked for two chickens and three scoops of coal a month, and they liked it! And why do these kids need teachers, anyway!" Etc.

So, in short, as of noon Thursday, I am officially a Home Owner. Or, more accurate, a mortgaged home user for the next 30 years. In 30 years, when I'll be ... erp. Never mind.

I apologize for the lack of updates yesterday; I actually tried to log on once, but couldn't get a connection from the company that provides my dial-up service (I think it's Can & String Telecom Inc.), and was so busy that I didn't try again.

I could do a "tick-tock" on the whole day, but my hands are still tired from signing paper after paper after paper, and frankly, it's not that interesting. Early morning walk-through at the house, run to the bank, run to the real-estate agent's office for the closing, run back to the house, go inspect some furniture, etc., etc., etc. In between I found time to go to the florist, the funeral home, and an assisted living facility to visit an old friend. I took a day off of work, naturally; frankly, I'll be happy to go back to work (I need the rest, haw haw haw).

There are crazies in the world, so I'm not going to say exactly where the house is; it's in the Mon-Yough area, though not actually in Our Fair City. (You'll be able to find out in few days from the Recorder of Deeds office, of course.) I can see Our Fair City from the house, however. Suffice to say I wanted to move a little closer to where I work, and buying in Our Fair City would have added significantly to my commute.

Being a natural-born klutz, it only makes sense that I've already sustained my first injury in the new house. Let the record show that it happened at 12:55 p.m. yesterday; a friend took me to lunch after the closing, and then I took him on a quick tour.

The kitchen range is one of those older Tappan jobs with chrome eyelets on the cooktop where you can inspect the pilot lights. My friend said, "Hmm. Your pilot light is out."

"Really?" I said, and set my middle finger down on the eyelet --- neatly burning a perfectly round circle into my fingertip and letting loose a stream of profanity (my first stream of profanity in the new house!).

"I meant the other pilot light, dumbass," my friend said. "You do know there are two pilot lights, right?"

Uh, sure ... I knew that. Luckily the previous owner had left some ice cubes in the freezer (along with something that I truly hope he was planning to feed to his dogs).

The fellow from whom I bought the house was a nice guy; he almost forgot his fishing tackle but retrieved it during the final walk-through. I noticed that he didn't take down a large picture of The Three Stooges that was hanging in the bedroom.

"Do you want your Stooges back?" I asked at closing.

"Nah, they're for you," he said. "For good luck."

"Besides," he added after a beat, "my girlfriend will kill me if I take them to the new place. She was tired of the Three Stooges staring at her."

This weekend looks to be a busy one. The house is in pretty good shape, but needs a thorough cleaning --- you'd be surprised what might be lurking under your couch, especially if you have light-colored deep-pile carpets --- so the shop vac will get a workout. And I'll need to find a carpet shampooer.

Then it will be time to start moving my years of assorted detritus --- some of which is still packed up from the last move --- into the new house. And buying some freaking furniture, unless I plan to sleep on the floor.

A few quick questions for the crowd: I had to have a certified check for the closing costs. From what I could tell, getting my check certified involved having the local bank teller call the home office, her asking if there was enough money to cover the check, and then stamping my check with the word "CERTIFIED."

And then they charged me $20. Just how expensive is one of those stamps?

Another question: The municipality has two separate wage tax collectors --- one for the town, and one for the school district. Combined with the current municipality where I live, I'll get to fill out three local wage tax forms next April. Plus, I'll have to send quarterly payments to two different agencies. Could they make the process a little more aggravating?

Well, it looks like my weekends, and evenings, just got a little more busy, so don't be too disappointed if Almanac entries get somewhat shorter for the time being. I guess this is a good time for me to start looking for more freelance work, too --- that first mortgage payment is already looming.

Someone remind me again: What's so great about being responsible, anyway?

Posted at 12:00 am by jt3y
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July 29, 2004

No Almanac Today

Due to circumstances well within our control, but which we chose to do nothing about, there was no Almanac today.

Those responsible have been sacked.

Posted at 12:40 am by jt3y
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July 28, 2004

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

I've gotten put on some bizarre email lists lately. For a long time, I was getting LaRouchie mailings; I administered several severe beatdowns to the person who was sending them, and they seem to have stopped. (Maybe telling them that I was a member of the Trilateral Commission and a close personal friend of Queen Elizabeth II did the trick.)

I keep trying to get off of the mailing list of the Ayn Rand Institute --- boy, are they barking up the wrong tree --- but without success so far. I'm content now to filter their emails directly into the trash.

Recently, some bright PR whiz emailed to ask if Tube City Almanac wanted a review copy of his client's new book. Um, you realize this isn't a real newspaper, right? That would seem to be painfully obvious. If you're still interested in sending free books to me, I'll take 'em: P.O. Box 94, McKeesport 15134. (I need new stuffing for the seats in the Diplomat, anyway.)

Occasionally, I actually get an emailed press release that's actually relevant (perish the thought) to the Mon-Yough area. I got one overnight from Greenpeace; apparently, the Greenpeacers staged a protest this morning at the old Duquesne Light power plant (now owned by Orion) in Elrama:

Highlighting the deadly impacts of coal-fired power plant emissions on the residents of the Pittsburgh Metropolitan region, Greenpeace today installed 3-foot crosses for every one of the 563 people who die prematurely from power plant pollution every year. The crosses were installed in the Elrama Little League baseball field, just across the fence line from the Elrama power plant. The installation was the first stop on a Greenpeace tour of some of the area's dirtiest power plants.

It's a wonder they didn't have freakin' heart attacks on the way to Elrama, assuming they had to drive through the stench at the chemical plant in West Elizabeth. I would think the odor near the Shop 'n Go would be an environmentalist's nightmare. But the Greenpeace press release continues:

"Each cross on the Elrama ball field represents a life cut short by power plant pollution," said Chris Miller, Greenpeace Clean Energy Now! Campaigner. "These deaths could have been prevented by moving away from dirty power plants like Elrama and investing in clean energy like wind and solar, which have no negative health impacts and emit no global warming pollution."

There's more, but I'll chop it off to interject a comment: Hey, Chris? Have you ever spent any time in Western Pennsylvania? Wind and solar? Lately, it's been raining so much that I'm growing webbed feet. The attendants at the parking lot I use are tying life preservers to the cars. Suggesting that Western Pennsylvania should convert to wind and solar power is worse than ignorant; it's lunacy.

And what's the real motivation of this morning's stunt (which I haven't been able to independently confirm):

Instead of prioritizing investment in pollution-free renewable energy, the Bush administration has systematically weakened clean air laws by allowing coal-fired power plants to continue to release tons of pollutants into our air and waterways.

Oh, that's right, it's an election year.

You know one technology that generates lots of electricity and creates virtually no air or water pollution at the power plant? Nuclear energy.

Here's Greenpeace's stand on that:

Safe nuclear power is a myth. Greenpeace is campaigning to end nuclear power, reprocessing and waste dumping.

Tell that to the Canadians and the French, who have been operating safe nuclear power plants for 30 years. But I see where you're going with this: Nuclear power is bad. Coal fired power is bad. Wind is good, according to you (well, wind isn't so good if you're a migratory bird) but we know that wind turbines won't generate enough power in, say, the Mon Valley to replace the Elrama power plant. Also, good luck trying to get a wind turbine farm past your local township zoning board ("You want to build 100 whats?" "No, watts! Ha ha!").

Solar power is good, according to you, but you don't want anyone to build disposal plants to get rid of cadmium, mercury and arsenic, all of which are byproducts of making solar cells. Oh, and even the dimmest light in the Greenpeace cluster should realize that solar cells are almost useless in Western Pennsylvania for days or weeks at a time.

And that leaves us with what, exactly? Bicycle power? I'm sure Greenpeace's PR people were pedaling frantically to churn out those emails this morning.

They're peddling something, all right. It's hypocrisy. Everyone wants the conveniences of modern life --- cheap electricity, sanitary food containers, quick transportation, cellular phones --- but no one wants to accept that we need chemical plants to make the plastic for the cell phones, and the cell phones need cell phone towers, and the towers need electricity from the power plants ... the list goes on and on.

Come to think of it, boy, I sure hope that Greenpeace's PR people weren't using cell phones and laptops this morning --- they rely on nickel-cadmium batteries, and everyone knows how dangerous heavy metals are.

I'm not endorsing air pollution by any means. The Elrama plant is a fairly notorious offender, according to people who live nearby. For a while, its owners were paying $3,000 per month in fines because the air pollution control equipment that was supposed to be operating there hasn't been working. But it's not enough to just bash something without proposing any workable solution.

In any event, I should be grateful to Greenpeace for giving me something to write about this morning. Otherwise, I'd be stuck blabbering about Teresa Heinz Kerry again, and Lord knows, nobody wants that.

Oh, and I guess I can expect the next Greenpeace press release to be sent to me at about the same time hell freezes over (no doubt as a result of global climate change).

Story Update: The arson investigation that has targeted several young volunteer firefighters in the Mon-Yough area is getting worse and worse. Five volunteers, including two from Citizen's Hose Co. No. 1 in Glassport, have now been charged with multiple counts of arson and related crimes.

Citizen's Chief Wayne Lewis told Brandy Brubaker of The Daily News that firefighters themselves were victimized: "Many of our firefighters have dedicated a lifetime of work to uphold the image of a firefighter."

Indeed, although no one was killed during any of the alleged arsons, one Glassport firefighter was seriously injured fighting one of the blazes, according to Brubaker. And two of the people charged with arson are also accused of stealing fire department equipment and selling it at the flea market.

Lewis put it best in the News: He said he feels betrayed.

Posted at 12:00 am by jt3y
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July 27, 2004

‘Saint Teresa’? Sez Who?

Copeland has a provocative take on the Washington Post's profile of Teresa Heinz Kerry:

Please don't mistake this as a partisan post. ... This is, frankly, more of an indictment of the Washington Post, which in at least three articles over the past 12 months has bought fully into the "new" Pittsburgh myth. The laziness of reporters at one of the country's top newspapers, their inability to scratch beneath the surface and the stack of brochures presented by the Chamber of Commerce upon their arrival, and their inability to find any contrarian sources is appalling.

I happen to be a big Post fan --- I buy it almost every Sunday --- but I agree.

It's always interesting to see the way media outlets report on stories of which you have personal knowledge, and I'm astonished at how often the national media and TV news get it wrong. They do too little preparation and too little background research; they dive into stories with preconceived conclusions and work backward to the questions.

To some extent, I blame editors who assign stories based on their own biases, and then order reporters to go out and confirm their biases. Reporters share the blame for not standing up to their bosses and saying "no" --- but then again, good reporting jobs aren't easy to get, and we all need to eat.

In any event, is it any wonder that people don't trust the media?

Take some of the other stories about Teresa Heinz Kerry, particularly in light of her flippantly dismissing questions from the Tribune-Review's editorial page editor, Colin McNickle, with a brusque "shove it." Here's USA Today, weighing in with a lengthy profile (especially by USA Hooray standards):

After Heinz's death, his widow declined Republican offers to run for her husband's Senate seat. Instead, she devoted most of her energy to philanthropy, using the family foundations to support several environmental and educational programs. In western Pennsylvania, it's often said that she is known as "Saint Teresa."

Who in the name of Adlai Blessed Stevenson has been calling Teresa Heinz Kerry "Saint Teresa," besides Mayor Smurphy? I searched three computer databases for all of the stories about Teresa Heinz Kerry that have run in the past five years, and the only person I can find calling her "Saint Teresa" is Hizzoner da Mahr of Picksburg, who used the phrase in a 2002 Washington Post profile. His quote was picked up by several subsequent profiles, and reused without attribution.

(By the way: Having interviewed the Mahr on a few occasions, and spoken to him informally on other occasions, I have a strong feeling he called her "Saint Teresa" in jest, not literally.)

But to USA Hooray, which no doubt searched the same databases that I did, that one reference was enough to conclude that in "Western Pennsylvania" she's "often" referred to as "Saint Teresa." It says here in Tube City Almanac that's bull.

None of this is to belittle the Heinz family's contributions, or Teresa Heinz Kerry's guidance of those foundations over the past few years --- it's just to say that no one is actually calling her "Saint Teresa." It's fiction.

Besides, I can't imagine she wants to be viewed as a living saint, either. Who needs the pressure? All the posing for prayer cards and bumping your halo on door frames ... to heck with it! Personally, I much prefer mortals --- even those who tell journalists to "shove it."

Oh, and I've finally seen the video of the "shove it" incident, and read the transcript of Teresa Heinz Kerry's remarks beforehand. She clearly used the term "un-American," and then denied it a few minutes later when McNickle (politely) pressed her for an explanation.

Apparently the Clinton years taught these folks nothing; they cast the bullets and then get mad when people shoot them back at them.

Elsewhere, municipal mergers have been the topic of much conversation in Western Pennsylvania. Not much action, but a lot of conversation.

Over near Johnstown, two boroughs merged into a new municipality called Northern Cambria five years ago, and some people are still crying and moaning, according to the Tribune-Democrat:

(To) municipalities considering consolidation, Northern Cambria's problems leave them befuddled over what a merger would mean to them. "The Northern Cambria experience set back consolidation efforts by 20 years," said Bruce Brunett, who opposes the proposed merger of Portage township and borough.

"We look at discontent in Northern Cambria and say, 'Hey, we don't want something like this,' " he added in a telephone interview from his Ebensburg business.

But county and state officials said the Northern Cambria consolidation was for the best. "There is a mindset of parochialism around here," said Ron Budash, executive director of the Cambria County Industrial Authority. "The problem in Northern Cambria is that they're still playing the Spangler-Barnesboro baseball games every weekend."

According to the T-D, the main critic of the Northern Cambria merger is upset because the county promised to build a recreation center there --- it never happened --- and closed a branch library. Neither of those problems were the fault of the merger, so why doesn't he blame the county?

Other people in one of the former boroughs are ticked off because they have to pay for new water lines for their old rivals --- which again gets back to that old governmental principle of ubi est mea: "Where's mine?"

One borough worker summed it up best for the T-D (anonymously, of course): "The outspoken people now are the ones who are totally bitter because they lost their plum of a small piece of power, like a seat on a government body. ... They are going to Johnstown and Portage meetings and stirring the waters against consolidation because they are bitter."

Ain't human nature grand?

Posted at 12:00 am by jt3y
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July 26, 2004

What and Where, Mrs. Kerry?

Gee, Mrs. Kerry: Are you petulant much? From Reuters:

Minutes after telling her husband's supporters to restore a more dignified tone to politics, Teresa Heinz Kerry told a reporter to "shove it."

No one expects her to behave like Mamie Eisenhower, but we don't expect Roseanne Barr, either.

The story was leading the national news at 7 a.m., at least on stations that carry AP Radio (I was listening to WMBS). I have a feeling it will be the topic of much gleeful discussion on O'Reilly and Scarborough, and possibly "The Daily Show." Surely it's a one- or two-day story at best, but it was a Dumb Move with a capital "D" for our Hometown Girl.

And then came this statement from the Yawn Kerry campaign: "It was a moment of extreme frustration aimed at a right wing rag that has consistently and almost purposefully misrepresented the facts when reporting on Mrs. Heinz Kerry."

Oh, well, at least it's all clear now.

What the heck is wrong with these folks? Instead of letting this thing die, you're piling some insult onto the injuries by engaging in name-calling of the type you profess to hate.

Who's advising her on PR? Dick Cheney? (No, I guess not. He wouldn't have stopped at "shove it.")

Teresa Heinz Kerry was the subject of a fairly positive profile in Sunday's Washington Post, which also included a large nighttime photo of the Downtown Picksburg skyline by the P-G's Darrell Sapp.

Of course, the story was filled with exaggerated platitudes that will make most people from Western Pennsylvania shake their heads: "Once so grimy and gray, Pittsburgh now glistens by day and glitters by night, its spectacular skyline reflected in the water," writes the Post's Ann Gerhart.

Um, Ann? Where have you been? The first Pittsburgh "Renaissance" happened in the 1950s and '60s; if any foundations deserve the credit, it's the Mellon foundations, not the Heinz endowments. That's not to say the Heinzes haven't been proactive in philanthropy, but let's at least be accurate.

Anyway, I don't know if the "shove it" cancels out the kind of warm fuzzies that Teresa Heinz Kerry got from the Post, but it doesn't help, I'd guess.

In other news, the McKeesport Heritage Center is hosting an exhibit of historic front pages and memorabilia from The Daily News, which is celebrating its 120th anniversary this year. Call 412-678-1832 or visit our heritage center Web page for the address and hours.

Househunting tips: I didn't buy my house through a Coldwell Banker agent, but the company's Web site, PittsburghMoves.com, is exceptionally useful.

It allows you to search by properties via ZIP codes, price ranges or municipality names, and even returns the West Penn Multi-List number for each home. The downside is that it's not always up-to-date; over the past few months, I've spotted several homes in which I was interested on PittsburghMoves and sent the Multi-List number to my agent, only to find out that the house was already sold.

Also: Many companies that once wrote homeowner's insurance no longer do so, according to the insurance agent I just used, and this article from Macleans tends to bear out his comments. (It quotes Canadian homeowners, but the one company mentioned by name is AIG, which is American.)

Some companies are being much stricter about who they will insure, or won't insure, and why, according to Macleans, and some companies are cancelling policies for homeowners who have made as few as two claims. In fact, just calling to inquire about your level of coverage can count as a claim, the magazine says.

You can get more information about homeowners insurance from the Federal Consumer Information Center (yes, the one in "Pueblo, Colo., 81009"), and from the Pennsylvania State Insurance Commissioner.

Posted at 12:00 am by jt3y
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