There are only 21 more shopping days until Xmas, or as James Lileks recently called it, the day that "we celebrate the birth of the Baby Claus Tree."
Many of our readers will be heading out to Century III or The Waterfront this weekend to make sure that the stockholders of Chase, Citibank and Capital One have a Very Merry First Quarter 2005; others, more in keeping with the high standards for which the Tube City Almanac is notably famous, will be doing their holiday shopping at the Pilot Truck Stop in Bentleyville and the Eastland Super Flea.
To make sure your holiday shopping trip is as safe, successful and stroke-free as possible, the cracked research and development team of Tube City Online, the Mon-Yough area's leading source of misinformation since 1995 (TM), has developed this list of helpful tips, based on long hours of consultation with a beer and a bag of taco chips:
1.) MAIL EARLY FOR CHRISTMAS. Christmastime is a busy mailing season at our local post offices, and long lines can be expected. Make sure to mail early for Christmas or Hanukkah. In addition, make sure that all of the items you want to ship are in boxes; taped closed; and have addresses on them before you get to the window. These may seem like obvious tips, but residents of the Mon-Yough area continue to observe postal customers breaking all of these rules. And if you get to the front of the line and pull out a Ziploc-brand plastic bag full of cookies and hand it to the postal clerk, saying "I want to mail these to my grandson, but I'm not sure what his address is," both the clerk and the people in line behind you are going to be plotting messy, painful ways to hurt you, and nothing spoils the Christmas season like being impaled on a giant lighted plastic candy cane.
2.) BE PREPARED AT THE BANK. In a similar vein, lines at banks and savings institutions are also heavy as people rush to cash in their Christmas clubs, withdraw money from their savings accounts, or beg for mercy. The half-hour wait in line is a perfect time to do things like filling out your withdrawal slips or endorsing checks, rather than standing there with your mouths hanging open, catching flies. Also, make sure you have an acceptable form of ID. A driver's license or state-issued photo ID is acceptable; the label in your underwear and your Rite Aid Thrifty Senior Card are not.
3.) COLD ENOUGH FOR YOU? It's a medical fact! Despite the cold weather, it is scientifically impossible for your jaw to freeze solid in typical Western Pennsylvania climatic conditions. And it's certainly unlikely inside a heated, well-lit Wal-Mart, Kmart or Target location! Therefore, if you're waiting in line at your local discount house, it is unnecessary for you to exercise your mouth by saying things like, "Boy, it's cold outside!" or "Gee, this store sure is busy!" to the other customers waiting in line with you! If you must, then please hang a sign around your neck that says "LOSER," so that we know not to get in line with you!
4.) GETTING THE BEST PRICE. According to Leading Retail Experts, the prices at large chains of department stores, electronics retailers and appliance dealers are set many months in advance by highly-paid experts with six-figure salaries who work in corporate office buildings far, far away. Therefore, if you don't like the cost of that "Hello Kitty" DVD player, please don't ask the clerk --- who is making $4.25 plus commission --- if they "can't do a little bit better on the price." They can't, and it just makes you look like a rube from the sticks.
5.) PRICING DO'S AND DON'T'S. DO --- Comparison shop. Often, store brands have the same features at a fraction of the cost of nationally-advertised brands. DON'T --- Stand in the middle of the darned aisle with your shopping cart, trying to decide if Food Club brand powdered sugar is as good as Domino powdered sugar. I will gladly give you the 11 cents' difference in price just to get you the heck out of my way.
6.) BE CAREFUL DRIVING. Driving in heavy traffic around a congested shopping area can be tricky. If you have more than three stuffed animals in the back window of your car and a sticker on your bumper that says "AAA 50-YEAR MEMBER," please consider asking your grandchildren to do your driving for you. Otherwise, try watching late-night cable TV for several nights before you go on your Christmas shopping trip; the language may shock you, but you're going to hear much worse yelled at you from the windows of passing cars as you drive through the parking lot of Southland Shopping Center at 5 mph with your turn signal on.
We here at the Almanac recognize that some of these tips may seem harsh and sarcastic, but believe me, we've been thinking much, much nastier things over the last week. And just think! There's three more weeks to go!
...
On a serious note, Our Fair City may be forced to seek Act 47 distressed status if bonding agencies don't agree to a plan to refinance debt incurred by the previous mayoral administration, reports Pat Cloonan in The Daily News:
Tuesday night, McKeesport officials were optimistic about getting a good rating for restructuring city pension and capital improvement bonds.
Last night, Mayor James Brewster was more nervous than optimistic as news expected from Arthurs, Lestrange & Co. Inc. never materialized.
If McKeesport is unable to get a favorable bond credit rating, it may have to consider an option the mayor has tried to avoid: Act 47 distressed city status.
An Alabama lawmaker who sought to ban gay marriages now wants to ban novels with gay characters from public libraries, including university libraries.
A bill by Rep. Gerald Allen, R-Cottondale, would prohibit the use of public funds for "the purchase of textbooks or library materials that recognize or promote homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle." Allen said he filed the bill to protect children from the "homosexual agenda."
"Our culture, how we know it today, is under attack from every angle," Allen said in a press conference Tuesday.
Allen said that if his bill passes, novels with gay protagonists and college textbooks that suggest homosexuality is natural would have to be removed from library shelves and destroyed.
"I guess we dig a big hole and dump them in and bury them," he said. (The Birmingham News)
In God Wants You to Be Rich, bestselling author Paul Zane Pilzer provides an original, provocative view of how to accumulate wealth and why it is beneficial to all of humankind. A theology of economics, this book explores why God wants each of us to be rich in every way -- physically, emotionally, and financially -- and shows the way to prosperity, well-being, and peace of mind. (From the book jacket)
Welcome to "What's the Matter With Our Fair City," Example No. 2,412.
At hand is Mayor Jim Brewster's plan to return Fifth Avenue to two-way traffic to ease congestion and make it easier for people to get to and from the McKees' Point Marina and the Palisades.
Sounds logical enough. The one-way traffic pattern is a relic of the late '60s, when Downtown was congested by train and car traffic. In fact, a bunch of streets were converted to one-way traffic at the same time. Unfortunately, the one-way traffic patterns were designed to solve traffic problems that no longer exist, because the businesses that caused the traffic no longer exist.
Along comes a good man, Harold Byer, whose family was in the retail business in Our Fair City for three generations as the owner of Byer's Children's Shop on Fifth Avenue, to complain to city council about Brewster's proposal, according to Pat Cloonan's story in The Daily News.
"If Fifth Avenue can be re-established (as) two-ways, and retain the parking on both sides of the streets, such as we have now, that would be great," Byer is quoted as saying. "But the parameters of Fifth Avenue are such that you can't do it."
"Can't." If the Mon-Yough area could only sell "can'ts." We could supply most of the people living in North America with their daily recommended allowance of "can't."
Why can't you re-establish Fifth Avenue as two ways? Because of the concrete obstructions and landscaping that were installed in the 1970s to slow down traffic on Fifth Avenue.
If you spend as much time Downtown as I do, you'll notice that traffic is so slow right now on Fifth Avenue that, some days, you could take a nap in front of Byer's old store and not bother anyone.
And Cloonan makes a very cogent, but sly observation: "Byer noted two lanes of traffic could share space with two lanes of parking in the 200 block of Fifth Avenue -- between the Palisades and the intersection with Market Street. But that's not the case in the 300 block, he said, and it gets even tighter further east on what remains the main business street in McKeesport's main business district."
That could also as be read as "what remains of McKeesport's main business district."
Fifth Avenue --- "what remains the main business street" in Downtown --- is the main business street only in the memories of McKeesporters. It is clear to anyone else that congested, dingy, dark, narrow Fifth Avenue hasn't been the main business street in Our Fair City for at least 20 years; the lack of business on Fifth Avenue should make that self-evident. The "main business streets" in Our Fair City have long since become Lysle Boulevard, Walnut Street, and to a lesser extent, West Fifth Avenue, and more effort should be devoted to building up those corridors and making them attractive.
Why should the city fathers worry about maintaining parking on both sides of Fifth Avenue in the 200 and 300 blocks, when many of those parking spaces are empty?
This is the same mentality that --- a few years ago --- led the city to eliminate free parking on Saturdays. I was visiting an office on Fifth Avenue on a Saturday afternoon not long after that when my meter ran out. I came down a few minutes later to find a $2 parking ticket on my car. The rest of Fifth Avenue was empty.
I don't begrudge the city its two bucks, but ticketing cars on an almost-empty street is pretty self-defeating, isn't it?
Yank out the concrete obstructions on Fifth Avenue! Make the street open to two-way traffic again! Otherwise, the city is trying to maintain parking spaces for businesses whose owners have either long since moved to greener pastures or retired.
In fact, while we're at it, make on-street parking Downtown free. Further down in Cloonan's story, Mayor Brewster says that "motorists who park along Fifth Avenue these days aren't necessarily 'near or at' a desired shopping place. The mayor noted that some are employees, others are carpoolers parking in McKeesport --- and running the risk of a $4 ticket --- to save money on parking in downtown Pittsburgh."
With due respect to Hizzoner, who I am really starting to like, so what if they're carpooling to Pittsburgh? They're going where the jobs are. Be happy that they're spending time in Our Fair City at all. The city's best shot at survival, long-term, may be in establishing itself as a low-cost bedroom community. Let people park all day Downtown and carpool to Pittsburgh!
What's more, it would be nice if there were some bagel shops where carpoolers could grab breakfast on their way to work, and some restaurants where they could stop Downtown to eat before they went home.
Let me go one step further. There's a big empty parking garage on Lysle Boulevard that's currently closed, but which the city must still pay to insure, maintain and protect. It's within sight of Port Authority's big bus terminal, and less than a block away.
So here's a novel idea. Give it to Port Authority Transit on the condition that they turn it into a free park-and-ride lot for carpoolers, vanpoolers and people who catch the bus to Pittsburgh. There's precedent; PAT is building a new parking garage at South Hills Village for park-and-ride use. It's costing PAT more than $21 million.
I'd wager that renovating the Lysle Boulevard parking garage in Our Fair City would cost a great deal less than that. And there isn't currently a park-and-ride lot in Our Fair City, which is why I currently take two buses to and from work.
If you had a busy park-and-ride lot next to the bus terminal, then private businesses might be encouraged to open a coffee shop or a cafe nearby.
You could also fairly easily erect a heated, lighted walkway from the Lysle Boulevard parking garage across the street to The People's Building --- now largely empty --- which would suddenly make it attractive to companies otherwise moving their offices to Monroeville, North Huntingdon or Cranberry. Having a captive audience in The People's Building would spur retail activity that would be necessary to keep those office workers fed, shod and clothed.
None of this is brain surgery. It just takes getting past this attitude that we "can't" do this or we "can't" do that, and it takes getting past this attitude of waiting for the 1950s to come back to Downtown McKeesport. It isn't going to happen.
The sooner the Mon-Yough area learns to take what it has and move forward, rather than sitting around moping over what was lost, the better off we'll all be.
...
Someone took me to task Tuesday night for writing about Our Fair City because I don't actually live within the limits of Our Fair City. In point of fact, I don't.
Actually, I've never lived within Our Fair City, and have always lived in the towns that border Our Fair City (except for while I was in college, and for a year or so after I graduated).
Currently, I live in North Bittyburg, which borders Our Fair City, and shares its roads and some of its services. When I bought my house, I chose it based on its proximity to a bus line that would get me to work in Picksberg as cheaply and with the least amount of trouble possible. If I could have found a house in Our Fair City that would have provided that opportunity, I would have purchased it. As it is, moving from one side of Our Fair City to the other has cut my commute time in half, which is no small beans.
So am I a resident of Our Fair City? Legally, no, and I never have been. But economically and for all practical purposes, yes. Frankly, the fortunes of North Bittyburg --- like all of McKeesport's suburbs --- rise and fall with McKeesport's. North Bittyburg has no identity of its own. It exists solely because of its historical proximity to Our Fair City.
And I wouldn't make a bit of fuss if North Bittyburg and all of the other towns would get over their Edifice Complexes and merge into Our Fair City. In fact, I wish they would --- though I know it would send some of the members of North Bittyburg Borough Council into apoplexy if I suggested that to them.
...
In more news stories you may have missed, a venture capital firm based in eastern Pennsylvania has announced plans to acquire Tube City Holdings --- descendant of the old Tube City Iron and Metal --- for an undisclosed amount. Tube City got its start as a scrapyard in Our Fair City many years ago, but has long since moved to Glassport.
Tube City currently provides support services for the steel industry, including equipment leasing, byproduct and slag recovery, and scrap metal processing.
As part of the deal, Tube City will merge with International Mill Services, which does similar work with the steel industry. The companies are calling it a "merger of equals," and Michael Coslov of Tube City will be the CEO of the new firm.
Earlier this month, Tube City was honored by AK Steel Corporation for providing "outstanding service, value and strategic support" to the company.
Around the region, and around your neighborhood, the Tube City Almanac is taking action ... for you!
Dateline Uniontown:
State police in Uniontown offered no comment Tuesday on the circumstances surrounding the death of 70-year-old Jeanetta Nicholson, who was hit by two vehicles Monday evening in Fayette County.
The accident occurred as Nicholson, of 115 Indian Creek Road, Springfield Township, chased her husband, Robert, 71, while wielding a butter knife, said county Deputy Coroner Elsie Dvorchak. (A.J. Panian, Tribune-Review)
Two nonunion newspapers owned by one of the nation's largest publishing companies -- the same company that operates The Plain Dealer and suburban weeklies in the Cleveland area -- are soliciting volunteers from their staffs to come here and replace striking members of the Youngstown Newspaper Guild.
The newspapers are The Times-Picayune, published in New Orleans, and The Oregonian, published in Portland, Ore. They are owned by Advance Publications Inc. of New York, which publishes 25 daily newspapers, 40 weekly business journals -- including titles in Pittsburgh, Columbus and Dayton, the Parade Magazine Sunday insert and popular magazines such as Vanity Fair and Glamour.
...
Other communications obtained by The Business Journal confirm that The Times-Picayune is similarly notifying its employees of the opportunity to make extra money. The publisher of the New Orleans newspaper, Ashton Phelps Jr., refused to answer questions. "I have nothing. I don't talk on the record," he said, and hung up. (Andrea Wood, Youngstown Business Journal)
When they first heard of the announcement of a Main Street-style development proposed for the former Western Center property in neighboring Cecil Township, Canonsburg officials were taken aback.
Canonsburg, which celebrated its bicentennial just two years ago, already has an authentic main street, although in the borough it's known as West Pike Street.
...
The state sold the property, including 39 buildings, in August to the county for $2 million, payable interest-free in 10 annual installments.
Washington County Authority recently announced its plans for the 225-acre development, known as Southpointe II. The business and residential community will include a cinema, hotel and two-story department store. (Harry Funk, Observer-Reporter)
Let's go back 30 years, to Anytown, U.S.A. --- as long as "Anytown" is east of the Mississippi River. In fact, let's say we're in a small town in western Maryland on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
Last week, the public works crew was busy stringing garland and plastic holly across Main and Market streets, which brought a little bit of cheer and color to the drab downtown (and some color was sorely needed after all of the leaves fell off the trees). A couple of the old-timers were grumbling that it "wasn't even Thanksgiving yet," but on Thursday, there was a chill in the air, and someone swears they saw some snow flurries Wednesday night. Now, the holly seems appropriate.
The kids don't have school today, and they were driving Mom nuts, so she gave them each a few dollars and told them they could walk downtown --- as long as they were home by lunchtime.
"Don't get into any strangers' cars!" she cautioned. "If you get in trouble, you look for a policeman, OK? And look out for one another, you hear me? Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady!"
Off they went to the two-block business district on Main Street, which is lined on both sides with two- and three-story brick buildings, and cars are angled in at each curb (it costs 10 cents an hour to park downtown, or 25 cents for three hours). The most imposing structures are the courthouse --- which is set back on a little plot of ground by itself --- and the big stone bank on the corner.
Downtown has ladies' dress shops, a hat store, a few mens' wear stores (one of them has rental tuxedos in the windows), a couple of insurance agencies, several lunch counters, John's Rexall Drugs, and a hardware store that also sells TVs and appliances. But none of them holds the kids' interest like the store with the green and red striped awnings --- G.C. Murphy Co.
(No one in town calls it that, by the way. They just say "Murphy's." Grandma sometimes calls it the "five-and-ten," because, she says, the store once sold only things that cost five or 10 cents.)
On Wednesday night, the windows under those awnings held boring necessities --- winter coats and scarves, shampoo and soap. But this morning --- as if by magic --- they're full of train sets and dolls, Christmas trees and lights, ornaments and holiday cards, all laid out in white cotton "snow" flecked with silver glitter.
Of course, it wasn't magic. The assistant managers were up most of Wednesday night stripping the windows and bringing out the Christmas merchandise. (One is still picking pieces of white glue and glitter off of his fingertips.)
Inside, the transformation of the store is even more exciting. The "floor girls" (all of the customer service people are women) have changed several counters inside to display "seasonal" merchandise, and one assistant manager who felt ambitious assembled several different bicycles and decorated them with bows and ribbons; they're hanging from the ceiling over the toy department.
The floor girls also brought out gift sets --- matched handkerchiefs, striped "rep" ties, boxes of perfume and cologne --- priced just within reach of a pre-teen's allowance, making them ideal Christmas presents for mom and dad. And the counters that support the old Sweda cash registers near the front door have been wrapped with red and green paper to resemble giant gift boxes.
Even the luncheonette (which takes up most of one wall of Murphy's) looks festive. The waitresses decorated a small artificial tree that sits on top of the Coke fountain dispenser, and twinkle lights are strung in and among the boxes of cereal and cans of soup on the shelf that lines the back wall.
As impressive as this is, it's only a fraction of what the kids are going to see tomorrow afternoon, when they pile into the Pontiac station wagon and head out to the new Murphy's Mart on the highway. The entire Garden Shop has been transformed into a display of Christmas trees and lights (the snow shovels and bags of salt are temporarily confined to one small corner).
And according to the big ad that will be running in tonight's newspaper, Santa is parachuting into the Murphy's Mart parking lot tomorrow afternoon at 1 o'clock!
If any of this sounds familiar to you, you're going to enjoy the new G.C. Murphy Memories Web site, available at murphymemories.com or gcmurphy.org. It's an outgrowth of my ongoing project, with aid, supervision and assistance from several Murphy Company retirees, to write a history of the McKeesport-based retailer, which thrived from 1906 until its takeover in 1985 by Ames.
We're still in the early stages, and much work remains to be done, but some of the stories and memories that have been contributed so far have been wonderful. You can find out how to contribute your own memories of working or shopping at Murphy's by visiting "Murphy Memories." And yes, this is a shameless plug.
(For the record, the "Murphy Memories" Web site is hosted by SkyMagik Internet Services, and is being funded by the non-profit G.C. Murphy Company Foundation, as is the Murphy history book. Opinions expressed at Tube City Online are mine alone, and not those of the Murphy foundation.)
Sunday was another road trip day, and again took me through the Hoopie State. This time, I pointed the Mercury west toward Wheeling.
Say what you like about the Mountaineer State, they have a very enlightened attitude toward speed limits. I-70 and I-470 through much of the northern panhandle are 70 miles per hour, which strikes me as a fairly sensible and prudent speed limit on a six-lane interstate with banked curves. The tank of Shell Premium I bought before setting off was well worth the extra money.
My destination was Bellaire, Ohio, right across the Ohio River from Wheeling, where I to interview someone for a freelance project. Bellaire had been a glassmaking town during much of the 20th century, and many people also worked over in Wheeling or in the coal mines back in the hills. There are still some working coal mines, and some steel mills, but otherwise, the valley has been suffering for decades --- not unlike the Mon-Yough area, come to think of it.
(An aside: I am fairly convinced that there isn't a blue state/red state divide as much as there's a town and country divide, or even a new vs. old divide. I saw a lot of Kerry signs still in evidence in Bellaire and Wheeling, and a lot of Bush signs out in the rolling hills west of Bellaire. Ohio and West Virginia, of course, both went for Bush. I suppose if you live out in the country, and there's a new shopping center down at the Interstate, and you don't have to look at abandoned buildings and shuttered factories all day long, the economy looks pretty darn good. I'll bet it doesn't look so good if you live in Bellaire or Wheeling. But I digress.)
Downtown Bellaire is dominated by two bridges --- the big stone bridge that bisects the town and carries the CSX Railroad, and an abandoned toll bridge.
The toll bridge is a truly bizarre site; on the Ohio side, they just chopped it off in mid-air. You're driving along south on Ohio 7, and approaching this very imposing, Victorian-era truss bridge --- one that wouldn't be out of place in Downtown Picksberg --- only to see that it's just dangling in mid-air. At least they left the ramps in place on the West Virginia side.
A question, for anyone who might know the answers: If the bridge is in hazardous condition, shouldn't they tear it down? And if it's safe, why don't they fix it up and open it to traffic? Wheeling's only growth business seems to be tourism, and the Bellaire Bridge is an impressive enough landmark. I'd go out of my way to drive across it.
The big story on front page of the Wheeling News-Register concerned a protest in front of the sheriff's office down in Monroe County. Apparently picketing steelworkers were arrested in front of an aluminum plant in Hannibal, Ohio --- a piece down river from Bellaire:
At the heart of the union workers' complaint Saturday was the fact that a bond hearing was not being made available to the incarcerated workers until Monday.
Ronnie Blatt, chairman of the grievance committee for Local 5724 at Ormet, said the corporation was in the process of bringing in replacement workers or "scabs" when some striking union members were placed under arrest Friday by members of the Monroe County Sheriff's Department with help from other area law enforcement agencies.
Officers maintain they were only following a court order that limits the number of pickets to 10 people at the Ormet plant entrances. Anyone else who did not leave the area was subject to arrest. Sheriff Maniford Keylor could not be reached for comment following Friday's arrest and was not at the sheriff's office on Saturday when the union members staged their protest.
Deputies had no comment on the matter Saturday but said they were looking into the legalities of the protest taking place in front of the sheriff's office.
You are on an archived page of Tube City Almanac.
Click the banner to return to the front page; or click here to visit Tube City Online.
Published weekdays (usually), except holidays (and when we have something better to do) at McKeesport, Pa., by Tube City Online LLC, P.O. Box 94, McKeesport, Pa. 15134.
Opinions expressed here are those of the individual authors, and do not necessarily represent those of any organization. No warranty is given or implied for the information and opinions contained herein; the reader uses that information at his or her peril.
Except where noted, all contents are copyright © 2003-2008 Tube City Online LLC, a limited-liability company chartered in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. No content from Tube City Online may be reproduced in whole or part in any digital or print publication without express permission, except that short excerpts may be used with attribution in commentary or for critical purposes.
Tube City Online is edited by Jason Togyer, member National Writers Union, Society of Professional Journalists, American Radio Relay League and National Radio Club.
Also, objects in Tube City Online may be closer than they appear. If Tube City Online is swallowed, seek professional help immediately. Stop use of Tube City Online if condition persists or worsens. Tube City Online is produced in a facility that also includes Peanuts. Do not expose Tube City Online to open flames and keep it out of the reach of children. Do not back up, as severe tire damage may result. Not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Tube City Online is still not a significant source of saturated fats or Minnesota Fats.
