March 03, 2006

A Fool And His Money

I was walking down Fifth Avenue in Oakland when I spotted a display of paperback books in the window of Jay's Bookstall. Smack in the middle was one called Homestead and Mifflin Township by Jim Hartman.

"No wonder I never have any money," I said to Jay Dantry as I wrote the check a few moments later.

"But here you are in Oakland, and you have your charm," he replied.

"Yeah, but I won't get very far on that," I said.

Printed in cooperation with the Homestead and Mifflin Township Historical Society, Homestead is the latest in a series of paperback picture books from a company called Arcadia Publishing. Most of them deal with small-town life and consist of public-domain or archive images; past volumes have covered Greensburg, Beaver Falls, Monessen, Duquesne, Jeannette and Wilmerding.

The company seems to hook up with a historical society, and in return for printing these books (which are admittedly of limited interest), asks for local cooperation in reprinting the old photos and postcards.

If I have a quibble with these books, it's that they're obviously done on a very limited budget, and the photo reproduction suffers. The usual format is to break the books up into chapters dealingwith themes or specific groups of buildings --- the Homestead book, for instance, has one chapter devoted to stores, another to the mills, another to churches and schools. Each chapter of an Arcadia book usually has a paragraph or two on the opening page; each of the following pages then has two photos with long explanatory captions.

But there's no real writing, per se --- the only historical information comes from the captions. And the photos lean heavily toward static photos of buildings or landscapes; there aren't many of people. So, while they're fun and somewhat educational to look at, they're hardly a substitute for a real, in-depth history of a community.

On the other hand, without Arcadia, it's unlikely that anyone would put out a reasonably priced book of old photos of Jeannette or Duquesne, so as the man says, you takes what you can gets. (An aside: Model train buffs, artists, community and high school drama clubs, and others who need reference books about life in "the good old days" should snap these things up. They are an invaluable source of great pictures of how things looked in the early 20th century.)

I guess what I'm saying is that these Arcadia books could be more, but they're nice for what they are.

All this being said, how's the Homestead book? Pretty good. Actually, as the title implies, the scope is pretty broad, covering all of the communities that made up Mifflin Township when Allegheny County was first erected in the late 18th century. That includes Homestead, Munhall, West Homestead, West Mifflin, Whitaker, Duquesne, Dravosburg and Clairton, so it's a pretty good swath of the Mon-Yough area. Most of the photos are from roughly 1900 to 1940, and the lion's share are of public buildings and shopping areas, though there are a few of residential neighborhoods.

And though the format of these Arcadia books restricts the writer to mainly long photo captions, Hartman packs as much detail and information into them as he can. You didn't know that Homestead had a department store called "Hutson's," did you? Or that Levine Brothers Hardware in that same borough was once an F.W. Woolworth 5-and-10? Or that the old bridge between Reynoldton (now Our Fair City's 10th Ward) and Dravosburg was once considered the highest trolley viaduct in the world?

I found a few boo-boos. One photo of a saloon is labeled as having been taken "in the 1920s," but since Prohibition was on, it's unlikely that any operating taverns were having their photos taken. I suspect the photo is actually from the 'teens. These are minor, and few, and don't detract from the overall value of the project.

And I could nitpick some of the photo choices, though I understand the tight budget and schedule under which these books are produced.

All in all, Homestead and Mifflin Township is a worthy little addition to your history library. Act now, while Jay has a bunch left, and he's liable to show you the one about Oakland, and the one about the Pitt Panthers basketball team, and the one about the Negro League baseball teams in Pittsburgh, and you're liable to walk out with a lighter checkbook.

(Or, if you prefer to shop from home, perhaps because you're anti-social, click here to get the book from Amazon. A portion of the sale --- a tiny fraction --- benefits li'l ol' me.)
...

To Do This Weekend: It's championship basketball weekend, and the Mon-Yough area is right in the thick of things! Tonight at 5, the Serra Catholic High School girls' basketball team (23-3) takes on the Monessen Greyhounds (17-10) at the Palumbo Center for the WPIAL Class A title. Then, at 7, it's a Route 837 showdown for the WPIAL Class-A boys' basketball championship when the Clairton Bears (19-4) take on the Duquesne Dukes (17-10). (There is no truth to the rumor that the winner of this matchup will replace the 3-and-23 Duquesne University team next year.) ... Meanwhile, the McKeesport Tigers' boys basketball team (20-9) plays Caketown High (22-5) for the WPIAL Quad-A championship at the Petersen Events Center in Oakland tomorrow. Tipoff is at 9 p.m. ... Don't like hooprock? Franklin Regional High School in Murrysville presents "Seussical: The Musical" tonight and tomorrow at 7:30 and Sunday at 2 p.m. Call (724) 327-5456. ... McKeesport Little Theater, 1614 Coursin St. near Manor Avenue, presents "I Hate Hamlet," a comedy by Paul Rudnick, tonight and tomorrow night at 8 and Sunday at 2 p.m. Call (412) 673-1100.

Posted at 08:37 am by jt3y
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March 02, 2006

Drop Off The Key, Lee

For several years, the Port Authority (the most misleadingly named government agency other than the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, which doesn't sell any of those things) has been trying to "spruce up" its bus fleet by painting them with the names of famous local residents (including McKeesport's Clifford Ball), advertising slogans, or colorful abstract designs.

Now, some people would prefer they spruce up the buses by, say, busting the pinheads who carve and scrawl graffiti all over the seats. Still, decking out the exteriors is one place to start, I guess.

The other day, I saw one of those articulated motorcoaches (what the Brits call a "bendy bus") with this message painted on the side:

That big shiny bus

Is really no riddle

But it sure is odd

How it bends in the middle

As far as I know, this is the first time the Port Authority has painted poetry (well, doggerel) on the sides of its buses. It turns out the Post-Gazette had a story about this in January. Spokesman and former co-worker Bob Grove says the rhymes are patterned after the old Burma-Shave signs.

Since PAT is currently facing yet another budget crisis, I realize it may be difficult for the agency to pay for these little rhymes and verses. So I thought I'd contribute a few, pro bono. That's the kind of public-spirited guy I am.

To save some money,

I gave PAT a whirl,

But the bumpy ride home

Always makes me hurl.

It isn't a treat,

To ride a 61C,

Because the back seat,

Always smells like ... urine.

Did you hear the North Shore

Is getting the "T"?

I guess millionaire ballplayers

Are more important than we.

The Mon Valley asked for light-rail;

They got a busway instead.

That's PAT's way of saying:

"Poor folks, drop dead."

PAT boasts of public transit,

But it's just idle talk,

And if this is their service,

You might as well walk.

...

Meanwhile, it's been a while since the Tube City Almanac carried an installment of that long-running, long-annoying feature ... IN THE MON VALLEY, GOOD GOVERNMENT ... IS ON THE MARCH!

(Cue "March of Time" music.)

Dateline: Pleasant Hills! And this time, the GOOD GOVERNMENT ... ON THE MARCH! spotlight strikes The Honorable Mary Grace Boyle, catching her, unfortunately, on the back as she leaves what appears to have become her former courtroom.

We say "appears," because as Mike Bucsko reports in the Post-Gazette, neither court officials nor Governor Rendell's office received so much as a Hallmark card, a "Post-It" note, or a bouquet of dead flowers before Judge Boyle announced she was quitting.

Judge Boyle was re-elected last year to another six-year term, so her abrupt decision to step down less than four months later may seem a bit odd.

Ah, but her election was a bit of a sticky deal, as it turns out; she's been accused of using her county-paid office staff to work on her campaign. This, as countless other political figures can attest, is a no-no. The state Judicial Conduct Board is supposedly investigating, and can impose sanctions even if she resigns her judicial commission --- as she apparently intends to.

Perhaps folks might be inclined to overlook a little electioneering in the office, but I suspect a lot of plaintiffs and defendants are less likely to overlook a backlog of thousands of cases, some of them dating back to the 1990s, that were unfinished.

In many cases, fines and fees that were supposed to be submitted to the county or state weren't sent along; in other cases, defendants who were found not guilty never had their fines and fees returned. The statute of limitations has expired on many of the cases. Some $170,000 is still sitting in an escrow account at a branch bank near the district judge's office.

Well, as Gladstone said, justice delayed is justice denied ... and apparently, the people of Jefferson Hills, Pleasant Hills and South Park shall be denied a justice ... at least until the governor appoints someone to fill Judge Boyle's seat pending the next municipal election.

Over the years, I've been privileged to meet many district justices and magistrates (no, not as a defendant). Some of them were wry and world-weary, others were hard-nosed and no-nonsense.

Most of them weren't lawyers, but I have found most of them conscientious and competent, despite (or maybe because of) their lack of formal law school training, and dedicated to adjudicating cases fairly and swiftly.

Yet it would be impossible to measure their professionalism if there wasn't something to compare it against. Luckily, every so often, an incident arises that makes us appreciate our hard-working justices even more! The Almanac salutes those who throw good local government into sharp contrast with the alternative!

And until next time, remember: IN THE MON VALLEY, GOOD GOVERNMENT ... IS ON THE MARCH!

(Music: Up and out)

Posted at 07:50 am by jt3y
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March 01, 2006

It Makes Your Breath Leak Out

When I started in newspapers at the princely sum of $285 per week, one of my duties as the night police reporter/photographer/phone answerer/getter of the copy desk's lunches was to write obituaries.

Occasionally, this involved writing the obituary of a prominent or interesting person. I once wrote an obit for a woman who had played the piano at the Holiday Inn in North Strabane for 25 years; her best-known claim to fame, however, was being hit in the head by a Roberto Clemente foul ball during the 1971 World Series. Her family and friends were delighted that the newspaper had memorialized her life with a little feature story; my biggest regret was that I didn't get to meet her while she was alive.

Usually, however, the subjects of "feature obituaries" were considerably more average --- former mayors or city councilmen.

And if we weren't writing a "feature," then obituaries followed a very rigid format:

John Q. Public, 89, of Canton Township, died Friday at Washington Hospital after a brief illness. He was born May 17, 1916, in Burgettstown, the son of John X. and Jane Doe Public. He was retired as a millwright for Jessop Steel and served in the U.S. Army in Germany during World War II. Mr. Public was a member of Immaculate Conception Church, the Washington Elks, and VFW Post 927. He is survived by his wife, the former Susan Customer; two sons, John Q. II and Steven, both of Washington; a daughter, Jane Jones of Canonsburg; seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Friends will be received from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Sunday at the Warco-Falvo Funeral Home, Washington. A Mass of Christian burial will be held 10 a.m. Monday at Immaculate Conception Church, the Rev. Pius Clergy officiating, with interment to follow at Washington Cemetery.

It is a little creepy how easily the format still sticks with me, but I must have typed hundreds of those.

Some rules were drummed into my head the very first week; I am fortunate the night city editor didn't use a pica pole to literally drum them into my head:

1. People "die." They do not "pass away," "go home to be with the Lord," or get "carried away by the angels."



2. Those over the age of 75 do not die "suddenly" or "unexpectedly."



3. We will list a spouse or a "beloved companion." We will not list both.



4. We will list direct blood relatives. We will not list anyone more distant than a niece or nephew, so no matter how close they were to their second cousin, twice-removed, he or she ain't getting into the obit.



5. We care if they were a member of the Elks, Lions, volunteer fire department, Christian Mothers, Eastern Star, etc. We do not care that they played bingo every Tuesday night at Holy Cross.

Deviations from this format brought wounded howls of protest from the city desk. One night, early in my rookie career, a funeral director insisted that we list a 101-year-old woman as having "died unexpectedly." He harangued me, pleaded with me, wheedled and cajoled --- insisting that the family wanted it this way, and that I would only compound their grief by refusing --- until I relented.

I dutifully filed the obit and 20 minutes later, an editor on the desk exploded. "What the hell is this (bad word)! 'Unexpectedly!' The (very bad word) was one-hundred-and-(very, very bad word)-one years old, for (name of diety) sake!"

I was directed to call the funeral director back, and tell him, no, I was wrong, we would not be doing that, and if he didn't like it, he could take his obituaries and shove them up his (bad word).

As I found out when I called back, he knew that it wouldn't work. He just wanted to see if he could slip it past the new guy.

That was a lesson you don't learn in college.

Anyway, the newspaper could turn down certain language because it ran obituaries as a public service --- it didn't charge a fee. We also had "paid death notices" that ran as classified advertising, but those were printed in much smaller type, and even those had restrictions, most having to do with good taste.

Well, in this era of declining newspaper revenue, more and more papers are running paid obituaries --- they look like news stories, but are written and submitted by the families, who can put whatever they want into them.

A year or two ago, maybe longer, the Daily News went this route. And since then, no one in the Mon-Yough area has "died." They've "gone home to be with the Lord," "been carried to Heaven by the angels," "been reunited with their beloved (wife, husband, dog) in God's Eternal Glory," and for all I know, someone has probably "joined the bleedin' choir invisible" by now.

Ah, but I have yet to see a death notice as tasteless as the one below. Apparently, it's been making the rounds for a few months, and I have verified that the thing is real --- it's not an urban legend. Also, apparently, the newspaper where it ran --- the Raleigh (N.C.) News and Observer, owned, incidentally, by the family of Kevin McClatchy --- was deluged with complaints and has tightened the rules on paid obits since then.

I guess the family thought it was "funny." Well, here's a tip for those of you who may be saddled with the distasteful task of writing an obituary for a loved one: People clip these out and save them forever. Not everyone wants them to be "funny."

And even if it seems "funny" now, it won't seem "funny" 50 years from now, when your son or daughter pulls it from the family bible to show their son or daughter. They'll just think you were a dork. So show some restraint.

Anyway, the obit for Mrs. Dorothy Gibson Cully, aged 86, follows at the "continue" link. I'll give you just two highlights: She died after "all of her breath leaked out," while her father died with an apple in his mouth and his head in the oven.

Could I make that up? No, I could not.

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Posted at 07:46 am by jt3y
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February 28, 2006

Don't Tell The UAE We've Got a Marina

This isn't a place for discussion of national politics, because there are enough places on the Internet where you can get uninformed commentary on that. I try to confine my uninformed commentary to the Mon-Yough area.

But, the Tube City Almanac's National Affairs Desk has been following the Dubai ports kerfuffle with interest.

The President's supporters are accusing Democrats and those Republicans who object to the deal of being "racists." Says Alert Reader Jonathan, "Mickey Kaus wrote that Bush's response to legitimate concerns about this deal has basically been 'shut up, hicks.' He notes that it used to be Democrats who cried racism when they were losing an argument. It doesn't work any better for Republicans. (Especially when it used against other Republicans.)"

I'm inclined to agree with that. I have nothing against the people of Dubai (Dubians? Dubaites?) or any of the other emirates that make up the UAE. My problem is with the government of the UAE.

Sure, according to the Bush Administration, the UAE is helping us fight what the President calls "the war on turr." But available evidence indicates that Al Qaeda has been using the UAE as a financial and operational basis, and the UAE has either been unable or unwilling to stop this. Why should we turn over control of six major deep-water U.S. sea ports to them?

Some people are saying that a foreign company --- based in the UK --- is already running these ports. They ask, what difference does it make if that company gets sold?

Ah, but the company is not being sold to some publicly traded multinational --- it's being sold to a company controlled by the emir of Dubai. To me, that makes a big difference.

The analogy I would use is this: Imagine it's 1983. The company that runs six U.S. ports is being sold to a company controlled by East Germany. Do you think the Reagan administration would have gone for that?

Do you think Ronnie would have wanted the Stasi having access to our shipping information? Do you think someone might have been concerned that someone in the company would share sensitive information with the Soviet Union? I think they would have.

An emirate is not a democracy. It seems to me that if the emir of Dubai, for instance, wanted to rid his emirate of terrorists, he'd see to it.

Anyway, enough of that. I don't plan to comment again unless Dubai Ports World takes control of something in the Mon-Yough area. Say, the Mon Valley Speedboat Club or the McKees Point Marina. (Although that might mean we could get some decent Middle Eastern food Downtown, which would be a selling point, I think.)

And meanwhile, back here at home, it was wildly inappropriate for the county to erect this sign on the Jerome Avenue Bridge yesterday, and I hope someone will lodge a strongly worded protest with whoever it is that receives strongly worded protests:

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Posted at 08:03 am by jt3y
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