You've Got Junk Mail

After failing to receive an important email this week, I'm wondering how many other messages aren't getting to the Tube City Almanac's Editorial Complex, located in the verdant hills above Our Fair City.

It's a fact that legitimate messages now constitute less than 6 percent of all email traffic. The remaining 94 percent is junk mail that promises to enlarge parts of your body, help you satisfy your lover, alert you to investment opportunities, enrich your bank account with Nigerian oil proceeds or refinance your mortgage.

That's according to an email I just received titled, "URGNT HELP SIR DI$C0NT C!@LIAS LA$T L0N6ER UP TO 3.5612 % B-LOW PR1M3 RE-FI!"

Actually, it's according to an article in Information Week, which reports that fighting off spam was a big reason that the costs of handling email at major corporations increased by 334 percent in 2006. Egad.

As those of you gentle readers who have tried to post comments at the Almanac know, we have some pretty aggressive spam blocking. Right now, there are 5,847 different filters (I am not making that up) on the comments at Tube City Almanac.

But sometimes the spam blockers get a little bit overenthusiastic. For instance, the comment filters recently decided that the word "green" was forbidden --- apparently because spammers were posting messages about "Green Card Lotteries" --- which unfortunately prevents you from posting any remarks about Greensburg, Green Acres and "Mean" Joe Greene.

Thanks to Dementia Unlimited World Wide Technical Support, I've also got a program called "Spam Assassin" running on my email, and it's cut my avalanche of junk mail down to a landslide. But just like the comment filters that shoot first and ask questions later, I suspect the email filters are a little bit too aggressive sometimes.

Now I'm worried that I may be blocking important emails, so I may have to turn the phasers down to "stun" instead of "extra crispy."

The long and short of it (as they say in the spam emails) is that if you email me and don't receive a response, I'm not ignoring you. If you really want to make sure your email gets through, send a copy of your email to my first initial plus my last name at gmail dot com.

And if I still don't reply, then I am ignoring you --- in which case, feel free to tell me to do some of those things that the spam emails keep promising.

Heck, it's not like I'm going to read them anyway.

. . .

Local News You May Have Missed:

• Betty Vitelli of Jefferson Hills has retired from U.S. Steel's Clairton Works, which is not unusual. What is unusual, as Margaret Smykla reports in the Post-Gazette, is that Vitelli (now Mrs. Anthony Rothbauer) began working at the plant in 1944. Believe it or not, her 63-year service record isn't U.S. Steel's longest, but apparently it comes close --- a man who started at the Fairfield, Ala., plant in 1941 is still with the company. U.S. Steel feted her with a retirement party at the Bradley House, and Rothbauer may do some volunteer work at Jefferson Hospital to keep busy. We should all be so lucky to love our work like she does.
• Former Elizabeth Township magistrate Ernest Marraccini made the news a few years back when he summarily dismissed a group of traffic citations because he didn't want listen to the cases, then called the defendants "morons" after some of them didn't want to leave. He's pleaded guilty in federal court to obstruction of justice in connection with the corruption probe of the Allegheny County Sheriff's Office.
• Speaking of corruption probes: Back in June of '05, Officer Jim and I wondered why federal prosecutors only seemed to be pursuing corruption cases against prominent Pennsylvania Democrats like ex-Sheriff Pete "Laverne's Dad" DeFazio, Cyril "Mr. Modesty" Wecht, Tom Murphy, and the mayors of Erie and Philadelphia. Surely some Republicans had their thumbs on the scales. It seemed a little hinky to us. Well, I hate to say we told you so, but ...
• Finally, Mayor Jim Brewster is hosting a town meeting on the Mon-Fayette Expressway and the potential economic impact to Our Fair City and vicinity. He wants elected officials from all of the nearby affected municipalities to participate. That's at 6 p.m. Monday at The Palisades, Fifth Avenue at Water Street.

. . .

In Memoriam: Deepest sympathy to the Rev. Jay Geisler, pastor of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church, Downtown, on the death of his mother, Betty Jane Geisler of McCandless. Arrangements were in charge of H.P. Brandt Funeral Home in Ross Township.

. . .

Reading Room: I just found out that there's a weekly newspaper based in Finleyville. Where have I been? The Union-Finley Messenger was launched in August of 2004 and also serves other Mid-Mon Valley communities like New Eagle, Monongahela and West Elizabeth. The website doesn't offer much, but you can find copies of the paper at the Sheetz in Mon City, among other places.

I've been following a couple of notable local blogs that are relatively new ... Admiral Richmond K. Turner is launching regular depth charges of common sense at the People's Republic of Pittsburgh, while Ed Heath is experiencing Cognitive Dissonance in Pittsburgh and Beyond.

Both were kind enough to plug the Almanac, so back at yinz, and steady as she goes.

. . .

To Do This Weekend: Friend and former cow-orker Dave Copeland of Boston (Mass., not Elizabeth Township) is back in town for a book signing and reading at 7 p.m. Saturday at Joseph Beth Booksellers on the South Side of Picksberg. (That's the large-ish town north of West Homestead.) Call (412) 381-3600 ... McKeesport Little Theater, 1614 Coursin St. near Carnegie Library, presents "The Curious Savage," a comedy by John Patrick, 8 p.m. tonight and Saturday night. The play closes its run with a 2 p.m. matinee on Sunday. Call (412) 673-1100.