February 09, 2007

Taxes Tempt, But Liquor's Quicker

Our topic today at "Good Government ... On The March!" is the Pennsylvania Constitution. (What's that? You didn't know we had a constitution? Hmmm. See me after class.)

Unlike the U.S. Constitution, which spends its time establishing what the federal government may do (provide for an army and navy, promote law and order, regulate interstate commerce), the Pennsylvania constitution spends much of its time saying what the state government may not do --- restrict freedom of speech or religion, pass laws regulating individual municipalities, or give hereditary titles.

(That last clause may come as a surprise to people who have never seen an election ballot without a Flaherty, a Costa or --- in central Pennsylvania --- a Shuster. But trust me, it's in there.)

There are several clauses in Pennsylvania's constitution describing how the branches of government are supposed to operate, but nowhere in the Constitution will you find that "selling liquor and beer" are among the Commonwealth's primary duties:

• Establishing a judicial system, yes. (Article V.)



• Protecting natural resources, yes. (Article I, Section 27.)



• Maintaining a 25 percent profit margin on bottles of ripple, erm, not so much.

. . .

That leaves me at a loss to explain why state Sen. Sean Logan of Monroeville --- a man whom I normally respect --- is so hot and bothered that a Sheetz store in Altoona is selling six packs of beer.

Right now, any restaurant which has tables and chairs for at least 30 people may apply for a license to sell carry-out beer. According to the Post-Gazette's Bill Toland, several dozen supermarkets with in-store restaurants have also received permission to operate six-pack shops.

Logan's objections have nothing to do at all, I'm sure, with the fact that he received $12,500 last year in campaign funds from the Pennsylvania Beer Wholesalers Association. No, Logan and a state senator from Eastern Pennsylvania want to close this "loophole" to (all together now) "protect the children." Says Sen. John Rafferty, R-Montgomery, "I'm very concerned over the age issue, [the] possible sales to minors."

(Rafferty took $12,000 from the Beer Wholesalers, in case you were wondering. You can, as they say, look it up.)

Nope, no ulterior motives here! After all, no minor in Pennsylvania has ever been able to obtain beer, thanks to our state beer distributors. As anyone who has ever visited a beer store in Pennsylvania knows, they are citadels of professional operation, run with an almost-clinical efficiency.

(Excuse me, I just barfed a little bit in my mouth.)

. . .

This story broke last week, but I bring it up because of "Fast Eddie" Rendell's budget proposals this week that (among other things) would increase the state sales tax by 1 percent and lease the Pennsylvania Turnpike to a private company.

The governor claims that leasing the Turnpike would generate $10 billion in upfront revenue that could be invested and return 9 percent annually to the state --- a claim that the Harrisburg Patriot-News calls questionable "given the ups and downs of the market."

The newspaper also wonders why, if private firms are interested in taking over the Turnpike, the state can't make a profit running the Turnpike and return the revenue to the taxpayers. That's a good question.

Yet nowhere in Rendell's proposals did I see any mention of selling the 643 state-owned liquor stores or leasing them to private operators.

Although highway maintenance isn't specifically covered by the state Constitution, I could make a solid argument that the state's interests are served by a transportation network that includes the Turnpike and major highways.

I can't make that kind of an argument for the liquor stores.

. . .

I have no idea what a liquor store is worth, but here's a one for sale in Greeley, Colo., that grosses $545,000 in sales annually.

• Greeley is not exactly a big city (it's got roughly the population of Hempfield Township). Using the old rule of thumb that you should never buy a business for more than three times its gross sales, I'd guess that a typical liquor store is worth, conservatively, $1.5 million.



• For giggles, let's assume that our state liquor stores --- from the big ones in shopping centers to the little holes-in-the-wall like the one on Main Street in Munhall --- are also worth $1.5 million each.



• Our 643 liquor stores could be sold for $964.5 million! Ka-ching!

I suspect that figure is low, but let's roll with it. That's a $1 billion payoff for the state to leave a business in which it shouldn't be engaged in the first place. It's almost exactly what the governor says selling the Turnpike would generate ($965 million) in its first year.

And once you start swinging the budget-cutting axe at extras (like a publicly-operated liquor store system), why, you find places to cut everywhere. We could save $32,000 by eliminating the chauffeur who drives around state Rep. Bill DeWeese (D-Pomposity), and another $50,000 that he spent giving away American flags to constituents.

In fact, legislative expenses and salaries cost us a cool $308 million last year. I have no idea how much of that could be whacked, but I'll bet if someone wanted to, they could trim that way down.

For example, Bill DeWeese's constituents could buy their own damned flags. I got mine at Schink's Hardware in Duquesne: $9.95, made in the U.S.A, cotton with metal grommets.

. . .

My point, and I do have one, is that the state has never even tried to cut expenses. There has been no "belt-tightening" anywhere! The first response to any cash shortage in Pennsylvania is always "soak the taxpayers."

An editorial in the Daily News on Wednesday called the 1 percent sales tax increase "the least objectionable of (Rendell's) proposals." Statewide, the tax would go to 7 percent. (Sales taxes in Allegheny County would be 8 percent to account for the Regional Asset District fund.)

But according to this table, state sales taxes in Ohio are 5.5 percent. West Virginia's are 6 percent on all purchases except food (5 percent). Connecticut's are 6 percent. Left-wing, liberal, tax-and-spend New York levies a sales tax of only 4 percent. In Massachusetts --- that's "Taxachusetts" to Republicans, you know --- it's 4 percent.

. . .

I don't know about you, but I find a sales tax increase highly objectionable under these conditions. It's suicidal for Pennsylvania to raise its sales tax to a rate higher than nearly all of the other Mid-Atlantic states. (Except for New Jersey --- their sales tax is 7 percent. Hooray for us --- we'll be as bad as New Jersey!)

And that brings me to the final news item that caught my eye this week --- the Quinnipiac University poll that shows Fast Eddie with a 61 percent approval rating --- an all-time high.

Perhaps the survey sample was comprised entirely of Rendell's family and cheesesteak vendors in Philadelphia. They sure didn't ask me. I would have a hard time pointing to one accomplishment of the Rendell administration, other than the highly dubious achievement of legalizing slot-machine gaming.

When Rendell won re-election last year --- against a Republican candidate whose qualifications were weak and whose campaign was weaker --- I hoped that winning a second term would embolden the governor to take some stronger stands to reform state government.

Let's just say that the first two weeks of Rendell's second four years in office do not fill me with optimism.

. . .

There's obviously no leadership coming from the Governor's Mansion to reform Pennsylvania and drag it (kicking and screaming) into the 20th century (nevermind the 21st).

We need a brave state legislator to stand up and demand statewide budget cuts --- including cuts to his or her own expenses. We need a brave state legislator to call for a state Constitutional Convention to reduce the size of Pennsylvania's government and streamline expenses.

How about you, Sean Logan, especially since you seem to have greater ambitions than just the state Senate? You're spending valuable time trying to pass legislation to stop Giant Eagle from selling a six-pack of warm, overpriced Schlitz, and that leaves me feeling ... well, flat.

I could enthusiastically get behind a proposal to slash state expenses and reduce the size of the state Legislature --- and I'll bet most Pennsylvanians would, too. There's your statewide campaign theme.

If you want to protect the children, let's keep them in Pennsylvania first. Stop chasing them out of the state.

Alas, I'm not holding my breath about privatizing the liquor stores, either. Guess which state's elected officials received more than $19,000 in campaign contributions last year from the Independent State Store Union Political Action Committee?

Why, it's Pennsylvania ... The Best Government Money Can Buy!

. . .

To Do This Weekend: If you wanted to go to the Pittsburgh Auto Show and can't, the Tube City Almanac has a suggestion for how you can capture the experience. Send $9 for admission and $9 for parking to me and then go hang out at Tom Clark Chevrolet. You'll see as many cars and the coffee will be free, instead of the $5 swill at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center ... otherwise, Westmoreland Symphony Orchestra holds its Valentine's Day Concert (observed) at 8 p.m. Saturday at the Palace Theatre in Greensburg. Call (724) 837-1850 ... the Twin Oaks Lounge, Rainbow Village Shopping Center, White Oak, presents 8th Street Rox at 9:30 p.m. Saturday. Call (412) 678-3321.

Posted at 07:22 am by jt3y
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February 07, 2007

Sign of the Times

Posted at 08:11 am by jt3y
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February 06, 2007

My Sentiments Exactly

Posted at 07:39 am by jt3y
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February 05, 2007

Think Spring

On Friday, the media spotlight was again focused on Jefferson County, as much of the nation wondered if the weather-forecasting groundhog known as Punxsutawney Phil would see his shadow.

Though Phil didn't see his shadow (at least according to the members of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club), the revelry that accompanies Groundhog Day in the northwest Pennsylvania borough did cast its shadow once again over another prognosticating varmint.

According to legend, Port Vue Pete emerges from the trunk of an abandoned car on River Road before sunrise on the first Monday of February. If he doesn't bite a bystander, then the Mon-Yough area can expect an early end to winter.

Despite bitterly cold temperatures and wind chills near 20 below zero, the Almanac was on the scene this morning to capture the spectacle.

We asked Pete if he's jealous of the attention that Punxsutawney Phil receives each year.

"Jealous? Of that overgrown squirrel?" Pete said, lighting a cigarette. "Punk better never come down here. I'll mess him up."

"What is Raccoon Day, and why do you come out of your burrow on the first Monday in February?"

"It used to be Feb. 17 to celebrate the end of raccoon season," Pete said, "but that was too close to Valentine's Day and the stores didn't like carrying Raccoon Day merchandise at the same time as Valentine's Day cards. Too many guys don't pay attention when they buy cards --- they just grab the first one they see. Women were complaining that they kept getting cards like, 'Sorry to hear you have rabies.'"

He stopped to cough for a while, then continued: "Plus, we raccoons wanted a long weekend, so they moved it to the first Monday."

"When did raccoons first start predicting the weather?"

Pete paused, then asked: "When did Groundhog Day start?"

"In 1841."

"Then we started in 1840," he said.

"Doesn't that seem a little bit suspicious?"

"You wanna argue with a hungover raccoon?"

"Sorry. Why are you hungover?"

"What are you, stupid? Super Bowl was last night."

"Oh, right. I didn't realize that raccoons cared about the Super Bowl."

"We don't, but it's a good excuse to drink. You know what Dean Martin said: 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink --- when they wake up in the morning, that's the best they'll feel all day.'"

"How did you learn to forecast the weather?" we asked.

"My dad taught me," Pete said, "and his dad before that, and his dad before that, all the way back to the beginning."

"And who taught the first raccoon to forecast the weather, back in 1840?"

"Joe DeNardo."

"Why is Raccoon Day forgotten while Punxsutawney Phil has so many fans?"

"Aw, it's all PR. I blame that (expletive) movie with Bill Murray. Man, until that (expletive) nobody cared about (expletive) Groundhog Day. Now, all of a sudden, nobody wants old Pete any more. Sometimes I get so depressed I don't even feel like tipping over garbage cans or darting out in front of traffic."

"Well, maybe being written up in the Tube City Almanac will help," we said.

Pete snorted. "I'd get more viewers lying dead at the side of the road. And you don't need no Internet connection."

"Do you want to give your weather prediction?"

"Weather prediction? You (expletive) crazy? It's freezing! I wanna go back to bed."

"But I thought you got up this morning to predict the weather?"

"I got up this morning, moron, to go water the plants. You don't buy beer, you rent it. So if you don't mind, can a raccoon get a little privacy?"

"How about your prediction?"

"I predict I'm going to stick that notebook up your nose in about five seconds. Come back at noon."

"Gee, Phil always gives a cheerful little poem on Groundhog Day with his weather prediction ..."

Pete cursed. "Poem? You want a poem? Fine:

"Roses are red, I gotta gripe:
I'm glad there's an end to the Super Bowl hype.

"Snow is white, dead leaves are brown,
"We'll save lots of money if the Penguins leave town.

"My fur is iced over, my boogers they freeze,
"I wish that you soon would go away, please.

"Winter is cold, port wine is red,
"I'm taking a leak and going to bed.

"You want a prediction? Then never you fear:
"Spring comes on March twenty-one this year.

"Roses are red, Humpty Dumpty was an egg,
"Now if you don't leave, I'm biting your leg!"

Posted at 07:52 am by jt3y
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