November 09, 2007

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Cartoons | six comments | Link To This Entry

November 08, 2007

Centralia on the Yough?

The Mon Valley may soon have its very own Centralia Borough --- a town all but abandoned to the elements because of an underground environmental problem.

At the very least, the natural gas, methane and other toxins leaking into basements in Versailles Borough are likely to seriously depress property values and generate controversy for years to come.

According to the Associated Press, the cost of venting the gases under Versailles may exceed the total value of the property there.

"In many cases, implementing the solutions suggested in the report would cost half and sometimes more than the property's value, leading some residents and experts to wonder whether it would be more cost-effective to compensate the owners and allow them to leave," writes the AP's Ramit Plushnick-Masti.

The dangerous levels of hydrogen sulfide under Versailles are about 100 times the level that's considered safe, a expert on hydrogen sulfide's effects on the human body told Plushnick-Masti. "I don't think there's any doubt this is a very serious, bad thing to expose people to," Dr. Kaye Kilburn told Plushnick-Masti.

. . .

A Dissenting Voice: One problem, as you will read only at Tube City Almanac, is that Kilburn is a somewhat controversial figure. A former professor of medicine at the University of Southern California, Kilburn now runs a company called Neuro-Test Inc., which sells home testing kits for hydrogen sulfide, mold and other pollutants.

He's also made a career for himself as a paid medical expert testifying on behalf of plaintiffs in various lawsuits against chemical companies and other organizations. According to QuackWatch, a federal district court in Nevada threw out Kilburn's testimony in a 1996 lawsuit on the grounds that his "novel" theories were "unsupported by research extraneous to the litigation."

A few years later, the Minnesota Supreme Court, examining Kilburn's testimony in a case involving the pesticide Dursban, upheld a lower court ruling that his methods were "contrary to generally accepted scientific practice," "not generally accepted" and "not scientifically reliable" (See Goeb v. Tharaldson, 615 N.W.2d 800, Minn. 2000.)

Kilburn (surprise) writes books and edits magazines that focus on the damage that chemicals in the environment may cause to the brain.

. . .

More Light, Less Gas Needed: That doesn't mean that Kilburn is wrong about the situation in Versailles. It only means that I'd like to hear from someone who carries less baggage. Asking a paid medical expert if you might have a medical problem is like, to quote Gene Weingarten, "asking your kid if you need a puppy."

Meanwhile, an engineer who has been consulted on the methane problem in Versailles since the late 1960s tells the AP that the issue is serious but could be dealt with "at a cost lower than the $1 million spent" by the federal government surveying gas wells in the borough.

"I think you can make the community livable for a lot less money then what is suggested in that report," said John Stillwagon of Heath Consultants in Houston, Texas.

. . .

Manageable Risk?: I claim no expertise in gas leaks, beyond the hot air I vent at the Almanac and the methane releases that I cause myself.

But it seems to me that since Versailles has lived on the McKeesport-Versailles gas field for almost a century without any obvious ill-effects, the problem, though serious, is not catastrophic.

In fact, since we need to tap alternative energy sources, it seems to me that sinking some gas wells in Versailles again might actually produce some revenue that could be used to fund environmental remediation.

In other words, we're talking about manageable risk, not Love Canal or Chernobyl.

In situations like these, it would be helpful to get some non-partisan, unbiased, clear-headed scientific advise from our federal government ... which (via the Department of Energy) has dragged its feet on releasing any information about Versailles to local elected officials or the general public and, once again, "did not respond to repeated phone calls" from the Associated Press or answer a list of questions sent by email "at the department's request."

Heckuva job, Bushie! Maybe radical Islamic clerics should take up residence in Versailles. That might get someone's attention.

. . .

From The National Affairs Desk: Meanwhile, President Bush yesterday rebuked Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, telling him to "take off his military uniform." (Voice of America, USA Today)

"You can't be the president and the head of the military at the same time," Bush said.

Yeah, Gen. Musharraf. Next thing you know, you'll be putting on a flight suit and landing on an aircraft carrier.

Whoops! My irony detector just exploded.

Or maybe that was a methane pocket in Versailles. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Good Government On The March, Mon Valley Miscellany, Our Far-Flung National Correspondents | three comments | Link To This Entry

November 07, 2007

Those Oldies But Goodies

Yeah, who didn't see that coming? Show of hands?

The real problem is that Opie "Luke" Ravenstahl is going to be one smug so-and-so for the next two years. If you thought Dubya was bad after the 2004 elections, you ain't seen nothing yet.

To heck with the Homeland Security SUV. I predict that the Mayor of Picksberg will demand a Life Flight helicopter to take him to his next concert.

But seriously, folks ... in other news, "complete but unofficial" returns from the Allegheny County Department of Elections indicate that 29 percent of registered voters bothered to show up. That's right: One in four of us exercised our democratic (small "D") franchise.

People in Pakistan are getting beaten in the streets for demanding the right to vote for their government; here in Pennsyltucky, we sit at home and watch "Family Guy" reruns while polling places stand empty.

Of those who voted (again according to the Elections Department), about 68,000, or 26 percent, voted a straight ticket, either Republican or Democrat.

Wilco Tango Foxtrot, who still votes a straight-party ticket in 2007? Good gravy, people! Use your brains for something other than a place to store your lottery numbers.

The election results don't mention how many people thought they were voting for Hoover or Roosevelt, but I suspect a lot of 'em did.

At least those people weren't watching "Family Guy." They did get home from the polls, however, in time to see "Wheel of Fortune." Then they put their teeth in a glass of water and went to bed.

Here's your thought for the day: "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."

And with that, Mr. Mencken and I are going to bed, too. Wake us before the next Stiller game, and phooey on your electoral process.

. . .

P.S.: To see the original "Bloom County" strip, which is one of my all-time favorites, click here. The mayor of Pittsburgh was four years old when it ran.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Cartoons, Politics | five comments | Link To This Entry

November 06, 2007

On Hizzoner

Today is Election Day. In the all-important city mayoral race, I predict a landslide victory for the Democrat, who has proven himself competent, alert and an excellent ambassador for the region.

I mean Jim Brewster, of course. Who did you think I was talking about?

Oh, Opie "Luke" Ravenstahl? Yeah, he's gonna win, too. Maybe not as big as he would have if he hadn't made so many missteps this year, but I'd say by 20 points, at least.

Short of Ravenstahl getting caught in the back of St. Paul's Cathedral, making love to a goat while wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey, there was no way Ravenstahl wasn't going to be elected.

. . .

Here's another thing: DeSantis only looks good in comparison to Ravenstahl. Otherwise, DeSantis is a very weak campaigner.

That will win me no fans in the Pittsburgh District Council of the International Brotherhood of Internet Pundits, Cutpurses and Misanthropes, but it has to be said.

I like DeSantis' positions on a lot of issues, and I don't like Ravenstahl's positions on a lot of issues. I especially don't like some of his ethical pratfalls, or his arrogance. So while I don't live in Pittsburgh (I'm one of those parasitical suburbanites), I should be favorably disposed to DeSantis.

But I'm unimpressed with him.

On the other hand, everyone keeps talking about Ravenstahl's "monotonous voice." I've seen him speak, too, and he's very good. He's certainly not monotonous. He's especially good in question and answer sessions. He exudes confidence.

I'm not saying Ravenstahl should or shouldn't be mayor. But he's not a box of loose parts, as some people claim.

. . .

So, there you go. I've been wrong before. (I thought the Santorum-Casey race would be closer.) But I think this is an easy call. I'd be shocked if Ravenstahl wins by less than 10 points.

And for the record, Brewster would make an excellent mayor of Pittsburgh, too. Maybe McKeesport needs to annex its noisy neighbor.

. . .

Remember: If you live in Our Fair City, you are voting on a referendum whether to amend the city charter to allow public employees to run for certain elected offices. (I call it the "Deny Donato De Pleasure of De Lawsuit" clause.) (Update: Wrong, wrong, wrong. See the comments.)

Elsewhere, you're voting for Allegheny County Council or Westmoreland County commissioners as well as school directors. And while I don't make endorsements ('cause nobody cares), the race for the Allegheny County Council At-Large seats deserves your attention for all of the reasons laid out by Maria of 2 Political Junkies.

School directors and county officials are the people who set your property taxes. So vote, darn you!

. . .

Find Your Polling Place:

• Allegheny County Residents


• Westmoreland County Residents


• Washington County Residents

. . .

Correction, Not Perfection: The proposed amendment to the city's home-rule charter will not face the voters until the spring, as Councilor Paul Shelly points out in the comments. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Good Government On The March, Politics | two comments | Link To This Entry

November 05, 2007

Rescue Me

Last week, a family member called me at 1 o'clock in the morning. "Come up immediately," she said. "I think I'm having a heart attack. I want to go to the hospital."

Well, that'll snap you awake. "Are you breathing OK?" "Yes." "Does your chest hurt?" "No." "Well, why do you think you're having a heart attack?" "I'm dizzy, I'm sweating, I can't sleep."

My relative is diabetic. "Have you checked your sugar?" "No, my sugar is fine."

Sure. I put my clothes on, ran down the stairs, jumped into the car, and zipped across town.

Let's check your sugar, I said when I got there. "No, no, no. Call the ambulance. Just call the ambulance." Sigh.

Unfortunately, if you have diabetes or know someone who's diabetic, you know that low blood sugar tends to impair your judgment and can even make you hostile. Thank heaven that we finally have 9-1-1; at 1 o'clock in the morning, I couldn't even remember the old seven-digit number.

. . .

A patrol car arrived first, almost before I could get the porch light on and open the door. The cop, who also turned out to be diabetic, came to the same conclusion as I did. He took a knee and started talking to my relative. I checked her pulse; it was strong and steady, but she was definitely sweating and clammy.

Next came the wagon from McKeesport Ambulance Rescue Service. After they gave her a quick exam, the diagnosis of the non-doctors gathered in the living room was unanimous (low blood sugar) and a quick check by the medics with their blood-glucose monitor verified that her sugar was down to 47.

One of the medics called the ER at the hospital to talk with a doctor. "Can you get her some orange juice?" he asked me. "And maybe make some toast or a sandwich?" The other asked her questions to test her reactions.

Then they waited while she ate. ("You're awfully stingy with the butter," she told me, which was a sign she was starting to feel better.)

. . .

One of the EMTs sat down and paged through her blood-glucose diary, talking to her, pointing out that she had last checked her sugar at 3 p.m., and strongly advising her to make an appointment with her family doctor.

By the time they left, about a half-hour later, she was feeling better and her sugar was up above 200. And she didn't want to go to the hospital any more. "Are you sure?" they kept asking her. "No, no, no, I'm fine now," she said. And she was fine later that morning, too.

They could have scooped her up, dumped her at the ER, and gone back to the base. I went to bed that morning very impressed with their level of attention to detail, their kindness, and their professionalism.

. . .

Yesterday, when Google's "News Alert" emailed me a headline that said "McKeesport: Local ambulance driver to face charges," I was a little bit stunned. Can't be McKeesport's ambulance service, I thought.

It isn't --- it's one of the private transport services. One employee shot video of the driver as he drove through the city in an ambulance, siren wailing, while dancing in his seat to a Justin Timberlake song. The dummy then uploaded the video to YouTube. (The video has now been marked "private," so you can't see it.)

For what it's worth, the driver on the video claims he's not speeding and wasn't doing anything dangerous. But if he did have the siren blowing, either he had a patient in the back and was en route to the hospital; or he was on an emergency run. And if he wasn't doing one of those things, he's at minimum in violation of the motor vehicle code.

Without being able to see the video, I can't comment, but according to WPXI-TV, city police are investigating. (The ambulance service has apparently fired the driver, who perhaps was auditioning for the role of Gene, Gene, The Dancing Machine in case there's a "Gong Show" revival.)

. . .

Anyway, when you heard "a McKeesport ambulance driver faces charges," you probably thought the worst, too. Usually when a Pittsburgh TV station comes to McKeesport, it's to report something bad. Bad things make news. I understand that.

But just this once, I thought you might want to hear about some guys doing their jobs professionally. The 9-1-1 operator. The cop. The paramedics.

Though it doesn't make the news, I think it's worth reading about, too.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Mon Valley Miscellany | four comments | Link To This Entry