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December 15, 2007

Saturday Update: Great Minds...

It was just three weeks ago when the Almanac wrote:

The clock on the "Daily News" sign used to be tied to a set of electrically-controlled bells on the roof that struck the hours with the "Westminster chimes." I think the workings are still on the third floor, or possibly in the equipment room on the roof.

I don't suppose we could get that fixed, too?



Imagine my delight this morning when I opened up the paper to read this:



Hot buttered damn!

The scary thing, of course, is that someone at Trib Total Media and I apparently had the same thought about restoring the chimes. (If anyone needs me, I'll be at Doug's Motel.)

Since my Christmas wishes are apparently coming true (remember, last year I asked for the Daily News to put back the neon Christmas decorations in the windows) I'm going to make another Christmas wish that Don Farr Moving would please do something to fix up the old G.C. Murphy Co. home office Downtown between Fifth Avenue and Lysle Boulevard.

The dun-colored buildings are currently used for storage. Paint is peeling, windows are broken or hanging open, and there's trash strewn all around the sidewalks. The buildings --- which are visible from much of Downtown --- cast a terrible pallor on the city's main street.

I realize that the complex was never very attractive, even when Murphy's was still in business, but it's become a real embarrassment. The "official mover of the Pittsburgh Penguins" can surely afford to make the outside of the building more presentable.

After all, one of Don Farr's competitors is also located Downtown, but James Moving & Storage, which uses the old R&J Furniture Co. warehouse on Market Street, seems to keep its property well-maintained.

Oh, and Santa Claus, if you could bring a new owner for the People's Bank Building, that would be swell, too.

. . .

Wait'll Next Year: Congratulations to the Steelton-Highspire Steamrollers, who won the Class A state high school football championship in Hershey yesterday with a decisive victory over McKeesport's Serra Catholic Eagles. I'm sorry that Serra didn't win, but as a Serra alum, I'm glad the team finally made it to a state title game, and a 15-and-1 season is nothing to be sad about.

I just hope it doesn't take another 43 years for Serra to make it back to Hershey. I'll be ... well, I'll be pretty old. (OK, older.)

The Mon-Yough area didn't go home completely empty-handed, as Thomas Jefferson High School's Jaguars rolled up an easy 28-3 win to capture the Class AAA state championship.

Further updates on Monday, or as events warrant. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my ears are ringing. (The bells, bells, bells, the clamor and the clangor of the bells!)

Posted at 08:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: General Nonsense | one comment | Link To This Entry

December 14, 2007

Fly Like an Eagle

It only took 44 years to get to a state championship game. To the entire Serra Catholic High School football team, thanks for a great season. A lot of alumni and McKeesporters (past and present) are pulling for you today, but whatever happens, you've done a great job.

You've played as a team and with a lot of class. You may not be McKeesport's best known high school, but you've done the city and the region proud.

Many of us old farts are stuck at our desks today and couldn't travel with you to Hershey, but we'll be listening on the radio or on our computers, and we're with you in spirit.

And if Father Luke Ciampi is up there watching, I'm sure he'll be rooting for you, too. His legacy is in excellent shape.


PIAA Class A Football Championship
Serra Catholic Eagles vs. Steelton-Highspire Steamrollers
Hersheypark Stadium
1 p.m. today
Radio: WPYT (660)

. . .

Train Club Rolls Along: Raymond Pefferman of the Daily News wrote a nice story about the McKeesport Model Railroad Club which was reprinted in yesterday's Tribune-Review. Friend and colleague Dean Liberty Jr., current club president, is quoted throughout.

The situation at the club right now is serious --- like most volunteer groups in McKeesport, we are having a hard time attracting new members --- but we're not done yet.

Over the summer, Officer Jim and I started a project (actually, we resurrected a dormant project) to recreate the City of McKeesport in miniature. If you're interested in trains, model-building, architecture or history, we could use your help. Email me at my first initial, my last name at gmail.com.

Otherwise, stop by this weekend or next during the holiday train show. Hours are 6 to 10 p.m. today, 1 to 9 p.m. tomorrow, and 12 to 6 p.m. Sunday. (And yes, the Steeler game will be on the TV.) A donation of $4 for adults and $1 for children is requested.

The club is located at 2209 Walnut St. in Christy Park, directly across the street from CP Industries; you can park in their lot.

. . .

To Do This Weekend: McKeesport Symphony Orchestra presents its annual holiday concert, "The Many Moods of Christmas," at 7:30 p.m. tomorrow in the auditorium of McKeesport Senior High School, 1960 Eden Park Blvd.

Choral numbers will be performed by the McKeesport Area Community Chorus under the direction of Kevin King and lead vocalist Deanna Dawn Denning. Call (412) 664-2854 or visit mckeesportsymphony.org.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Mon Valley Miscellany, Wild World of Sports | five comments | Link To This Entry

December 12, 2007

Never Been to Spain

The more I think about the sale of Kennywood, the more I conclude it was inevitable.

If you read a lot of business history, you learn that businesses are like sharks; they either keep swimming and eating, or they die.

If a business can grow by increasing its sales volume, it can remain healthy and independent. But if its market is restricted, it has a hard time boosting its sales, and it's not going to stay healthy for long.

Kennywood is stuck in a declining market that shows no signs of recovery. Western Pennsylvania is full of older citizens who --- demographically speaking --- aren't likely to go to an amusement park very often, and they're past child-bearing age.

Their grandchildren live in Texas and California and Florida, and in case you haven't noticed, those places have pretty nice theme parks of their own. They were not going to visit Pittsburgh to see Kennywood; while Kennywood is wonderful, it's pretty small beans compared to Walt Disney World or Six Flags Over Texas.

That's why Kennywood branched into related businesses, like catering (it purchased White Oak's Stratigos and Baldwin's Bradley House), and into new markets, like New England. It's the only way it could grow its sales.

But if Kennywood is small beans, the parks that it's acquired, such as Lake Compounce, are almost non-existent beans, and they're unlikely to generate the sales volume Kennywood would need to keep growing. And frankly, you've got to cater a lot of weddings to match the revenue you'd need to acquire a really big amusement park.

. . .

That means Kennywood would have to borrow money, but as a small, privately held company, its access to venture capital was poor, and the amount of money it could borrow was limited.

Let's say Kennywood wanted to expand in West Mifflin, on the property it recently acquired adjacent to the park. Adding a new roller coaster, ancillary rides and games, and restroom facilities, not to mention pedestrian and highway improvements, would easily cost $100 million or more.

Few lenders are going to loan that kind of money without having control over how it's spent. If you're going to give up day-to-day control, you might as well sell.

In other words, this sale is a good thing for Kennywood, at least in the short term. Parques Reunidos, the Spanish company buying Kennywood, is worth at least $1.22 billion --- that's what British venture capitalists paid to acquire the firm last year, according to Reuters. It reported 2005 sales of $127 million.

Though Kennywood is a known quantity in Pittsburgh, its name doesn't open doors in London or New York City, and you don't borrow $100 million from Tri-Boro Federal Credit Union. While Parques Reunidos isn't a company in the same league as Disney or Viacom, I'll bet that when they ask Barclays, CIBC, Deutsche Bank or J.P. Morgan Chase to borrow $100 million, those investment houses take them seriously.

Plus, Parques Reunidos will be able to put national marketing power behind Kennywood, Sandcastle and Idlewild.

Parques Reunidos will have the clout to pitch promotional ideas to agencies and tour operators that wouldn't talk to Kennywood alone, because it will be able to package the park with other properties in other parts of the U.S. And Parques Reunidos will be able to swing deals for Kennywood with big vendors that could save it money.

. . .

In the long term, however, I'm not convinced this is a good thing for Kennywood. These large conglomerates have a way of sucking the life out of subsidiaries.

You could see a lot of new investment in Kennywood, but you could just as likely see Parques Reunidos draining Kennywood's profits to subsidize other parts of the parent company, deferring maintenance and allowing the park to depreciate.

It's hard to say what Parques Reunidos will do. The company's current owners took control just this year, and don't have much of a track record. And they're probably carrying a big debt load that has to be paid off.

Even if Parques Reunidos doesn't drain profits away from Kennywood, it will need to maximize its investment by making sure that all of its subsidiaries are sharing operating practices and policies. That enables them to achieve economies of scale.

So you might see Parques Reunidos trying to "corporatize" parks like Kennywood to make its properties as similar as possible. That, unfortunately, would also remove the funky, old-fashioned charm that has made Kennywood a unique Pittsburgh institution.

Within 10 years or so, we might have a profitable, clean, shiny Kennywood that's Kennywood in name only, with a bunch of rides that look like rides in any other theme park, any place else in the world.

. . .

But what was the alternative? With the Pittsburgh market declining, and competition becoming more intense from big, publicly traded companies like Disney, Six Flags and Cedar Fair (parent company of Cedar Point, Kings Island, Knott's Berry Farm and Dorney Park, among others), remaining independent is a tenuous strategy at best.

Kennywood is profitable, but without a lot more muscle behind it, it's hard to say whether it would exist 10 years from now. Idora Park in Youngstown is a faded memory, and Conneaut Lake Park is hanging on by a thread.

And that's why --- barring unforeseen complications --- the Mon-Yough area's best-loved location will soon become a wholly owned subsidiary of a Spanish company controlled by a group of British venture capitalists.

Kennywood couldn't eat. It had to be eaten.

It's just business. It's all perfectly logical.

But hell, I don't have to like it.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Local Businesses, Mon Valley Miscellany | four comments | Link To This Entry

December 11, 2007

Holy Hopping Kangaroos

I sure hope West Mifflin High School has an excellent Spanish-language program:

New Chapter in Kennywood Entertainment History Announced

PITTSBURGH, December 11, 2007 --- Kennywood Entertainment of Pittsburgh announced today that it has entered into an agreement to sell its amusement park holdings, including Kennywood in West Mifflin, Idlewild & SoakZone in Ligonier, Sandcastle Waterpark in West Homestead, and New England parks Lake Compounce Theme Park in Bristol, Conn., and Story Land in Glen, N.H.

Acquiring Kennywood Entertainment is Parques Reunidos, based in Madrid, Spain, an international operator that manages 61 amusement, animal and water parks in the U.S. and Europe, with total annual visitors exceeding 22 million and revenues exceeding $570 million.

The purchase price is not being disclosed.


. . .

Well, then. Actually, I'm not at all surprised. I'm more surprised that Kennywood has remained family-owned for this long.

Rare is the family business that doesn't get sold when the fourth-generation descendants decide that spending the inheritance is a lot more fun than going to work every day.

After years of smacking around Kennywood's local management and complaining that they "don't listen to our concerns," West Mifflin's distinguished gentlemen will now get the "pleasure" of dealing with management 6,240 kilometers away (that's 3,880 miles for the benefit of borough council).

Let's see how willing that Kennywood's new jefes in Madrid are to negotiate nonsense like West Mifflin's arguably unconstitutional amusement tax. Not too willing, I'll bet.

A bunch of high-priced out-of-town lawyers are about to shove that tax right up West Mifflin's old Buttermilk Hollow, if you get my drift.

. . .

What else does this mean for the Mon-Yough area? I suspect it won't be long before Parques Reunidos is looking at vacant farmland somewhere like Washington or Butler county, along an interstate and far away from the urban decay of Kennywood Boulevard.

I'm not saying that Kennywood is doomed. But I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see Sandcastle (at the very least) relocated someplace more promising than West Homestead, nor would I be surprised to see resources allocated away from Kennywood and toward some other part of the tri-state region, even to an expansion of Idlewild or the creation of a "Kennywood II" 20 years from now.

I am confident that the Henningers and current Kennywood management (like Andy Quinn) will continue to be involved in Mon-Yough area affairs. But inexorably, a loss of local control always leads to a loss of corporate interest in the local community.

Just ask any of the organizations who used to receive grants from The Westinghouse Foundation.

The days of Kennywood's partiality and sentimentality to communities such as Duquesne, McKeesport and West Mifflin are going to grind to a halt.

. . .

Years ago, Joni Mitchell sang, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?"

Well, a big yellow taxi just took away West Mifflin's favorite whipping boy.

On the upside? Paella and gazpacho at the Potato Patch.

(more)

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: Local Businesses, Mon Valley Miscellany | four comments | Link To This Entry

December 10, 2007

Mmm-Mmm Good!

From the archives of Tube City Online comes this ad for McKeesport-based Potter-McCune Co. that ran in local newspapers on Dec. 11, 1957:

POMCO picks only the finest vegetables and processes them the same day to protect that garden-fresh flavor for your table.

And POMCO picks the pride of the orchards ... packs these luscious fruits in heavy syrup to enhance their natural goodness and provide a superior quality you'll be proud to serve at any time.

In your busy holiday season, take advantage of the wide variety of POMCO Fruits and Vegetables to make meals more appetizing and satisfying, and look to POMCO for everything you need for holiday cooking, baking and entertaining!



Mmm! Because nothing says "holiday entertaining" like limp green beans and canned fruit cocktail!

I know I'm treading dangerously on James Lileks' territory here (has he mentioned that he's written another book?) but you have to admit that ads like this one are a source of constant amusement. In an era when food companies fall all over each other to assure customers that their foods are more natural, it's quaint to read advertisements that practically brag "our foods are more processed!"

It was, after all, an era of unlimited faith in the power of technology, and of "Better Things For Better Living ... Through Chemistry!" (And through "heavy syrup.")

Of course, by the time the green beans were canned, boiled to within an inch of their existence, and served in a mushy gray pile, there was probably more nutritional value (and just as much "garden-fresh flavor") in the Pomco label.

And before you start feeling too smug and self-confident, remember that 50 years from now our advertising will look equally stupid. (Come to think of it, our advertising looks pretty stupid now.)

In lieu of any real content today, here's some alleged humor from my so-called "performances" in the stagnant backwaters of local radio:

Listen: McGipney's Big M Markets Present "The Fresh Grocer"



. . .

UPDATE: This just in from Pittsburgh's only news source, The Carbolic Smoke Ball:



Ow. The funny, it hurts.

Posted at 12:00 am by Jason Togyer
Filed Under: General Nonsense, So-Called Radio Humor | two comments | Link To This Entry

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