Category: Rants a.k.a. Commentary, Wild World of Sports || By

(Editor's Note: I will now attempt to demonstrate why I should never write about sports.)



I missed this bit from Saturday Night Live in which James Harrison (Kenan Thompson) talked about his 100-yard touchdown run during the Super Bowl.

His plans for the off season? "To lie down." Heh.

. . .

Hooprock: I may not have watched any TV on Saturday, but I was lucky enough to be in the stands at the Palumbo Center as the Duquesne Dukes upset No. 9 Xavier. I've followed Duquesne basketball since I was in high school, which meant keeping the faith through some really dismal seasons.

Watching the resurgence of that program has been an incredible amount of fun. Seeing the Duquesne kids mob the court after the final buzzer was exhilarating.

If the Steelers and Pitt Panthers keep winning, and Duquesne starts beating ranked opponents, there won't be a safe couch in any dormitory in Pittsburgh.

. . .

Fun McKeesport Trivia Fact: During the 1940s and '50s, Duquesne University's men's basketball team was so successful that its gym was too small to hold all of the spectators.

They wound up playing some home games in the gymnasium at the "Voke" --- the old Vocational High School on Eden Park Boulevard. (As they say, you could look it up.)

. . .

Meanwhile: Are you pumped up already about baseball season? If you live in the Pittsburgh area, your answer is probably a resounding "hell, no!"

I could put up with Duquesne's long string of losing seasons, but for whatever reason, the Pirates' 16-year run of complete futility is harder to stomach.

Maybe it's because the taxpayers didn't foot the bill for the Palumbo Center. I thought building a new stadium was going to save professional baseball in Pittsburgh? I guess Pittsburgh has to get a professional baseball team first.

. . .

Along the same lines, Pat Lackey of Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke? has a preview of the coming baseball season which he says is from the Pirates' website.

I have my doubts, because this seems a little too honest:

Coming off of a rough 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 season, hope still springs eternal in Bradenton. Pitchers and catchers report on Friday and on Saturday, manager Jim Leyland Gene Lamont Lloyd McClendon Jim Tracy John Russell will hold the first practice with pitching coach Ray Miller Pete Vuckovich Spin Williams Jim Colborn Jeff Andrews Joe Kerrigan ...

While pundits are expecting yet another losing season for the Pirates, the steady returning veteran presence of Denny Neagle Jason Kendall Kevin Young Brian Giles Jason Bay Nate McLouth and Ryan Doumit along with Leyland Lamont McClendon Tracy Russell's insistence that the team will stress good, fundamental baseball this spring, improving young players, and pixie dust, perhaps 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 will be the year that things finally turn around for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

. . .

Yep, I can hardly wait for the sound of the ball hitting the glove, the smell of the freshly mown grass, and the sight of the Pirates sinking to the bottom of the standings without even leaving any foam on the surface.

Officer Jim worked a traffic detail during the Steelers victory parade. He says he's grateful that there won't be any World Series parade in Pittsburgh until long after he retires.

Yes, with three days to go until the Pirates report to training camp, the faint aroma of "fail" is wafting up from Bradenton once again. Is it too soon to say, "Just wait for next year"?

. . .

Of course, there's always the Penguins.

Oh, right. Erm ... did I mention that Duquesne beat Xavier?