Category: Pointless Digressions || By

This sign in front of Elks Lodge No. 11 in Lincoln Place is likely giving a lot of McKeesport-to-Pittsburgh commuters reason for pause.

You might envision the cartoon character Beavis with his shirt pulled up over his head, calling himself the "Great Cornholio" and demanding "TP for my bunghole!"

Or you might imagine an evening of drunken debauchery that makes you giggle, especially when you remember that the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks lists "brotherly love" as one of its foundations.

However, you and the editor of the Almanac both have juvenile, dirty minds.

. . .

"Cornhole," we are told by an experienced cornholer from way back, is the game that most people would remember from kindergarten, carnivals and Kennywood as "bean bag toss."

There's an even an American Cornhole Association with organized leagues and tournaments and everything.

It just happens to have an unfortunate name, like retired NASCAR driver Dick Trickle.

So, if you're interested in learning how to cornhole, call Elks No. 11 at (412) 461-3322. And please refrain from singing "Pants on the Ground."

. . .

Meanwhile, a discussion at Nancy Nall's always entertaining blog has us thinking of pizza, which is always something pleasant to think about.

You may have noticed the national advertising campaign in which Domino's Pizza essentially admits that their pies taste like ketchup on bread.

It has long been the semi-official position of the editorial board of Tube City Almanac that Domino's, Little Caesar's, Pizza Hut and other national chains produce "pizzas" that are only suitable for Little League teams and invalids who have never had fresh pizza made with real ingredients.

. . .

In fact, while New Yorkers and Chicagoans would likely disagree vehemently, the Mon Valley has surprisingly good pizza --- maybe because we have a large Italian population.

(It's actually kind of a mystery how chain restaurants such as Olive Garden stay in business in Western Pennsylvania, where almost every neighborhood here has at least one really good Italian restaurant or pizzeria. We list a few in Tube City Online's tourism section.)

McKeesport supposedly got its first taste of pizza at Teti's Cafe in Christy Park during the 1940s, and Woody's Little Italy and the Elbow Room also were well-known as local outlets for pizza by the 1950s.

. . .

Your editor likes the pizza at the Elbow Room, but is particularly partial to Luciano's on Long Run Road in White Oak, which makes the area's best "doughy" crust and some wonderful white pizza.

Outside of the city and its suburbs, Vincent's on Ardmore Boulevard probably makes the region's best thin-crust pie.

But just like American Idol, we're always on the prowl for pants on the ground ... er, undiscovered talent, particularly in the art of pizza-making.

. . .

So, what's your favorite pizza place in McKeesport or the adjoining communities of White Oak, Port Vue, Glassport, West Mifflin, North Versailles, Duquesne, Liberty Borough, etc.? Post it in the comments.

And remember to pull up your pants, whether you're picking up pizzas or playing cornhole.

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