Category: default || By jt3y

It was $48, if you care. In fact, that was the only thing that went right on Thursday.

I don't consider myself particularly naive, but I'm constantly amazed at how nasty and vile people can be towards one another. When I was a little younger, I thought that everyone was basically good, and that if we could only know why bad people were behaving badly, we would understand them, and be able to help them.

I've concluded that's a bunch of liberal bleeding-heart claptrap. Some people, I've decided, are basically nasty. Maybe they have reasons for doing bad things, but I don't care. The end result of their actions are the same: They hurt people and they make life just a little bit lousier for the rest of us.

It's amazing to me that I've come to what is a pretty conservative world view --- almost fundamentalist Christian, in a way, since it acknowledges evil as a real, present thing in the world. But it's not entirely incompatible with other things I believe --- namely, that people have a right to live their lives unmolested by others.

Speaking for myself, I just don't want to deal with jackasses any more. Life is difficult enough without dealing with people who are the human equivalent of sand in your underwear. I've resolved not to try to reason with them any more, or understand their problems; I'm just going to excise them from my life.

After all, if you get a splinter, do you worry about the splinter's motivation? No. You yank it out.

All this comes to mind after a week of dealing with someone who has been the sand in the underwear of a volunteer organization I belong to. I've been involved with non-profit groups since my freshman year of high school, and I've noticed they tend to have some common traits.

First, a handful of people tend to do all of the work. The vast majority are there to socialize and have a good time. There's nothing wrong with that, but you have to be careful that the 10 percent of the group members who do 90 percent of the work don't burn out.

Second, strong leadership goes a long way toward making the group successful and coherent. Groups run with a "collective" mentality tend to stagnate and falter --- since no one is in charge, that's exactly who takes responsibility (no one).

Third, a bully or an otherwise obnoxious person can quickly destroy the morale of a group, especially if it doesn't have strong leadership. Besides making the group unpleasant --- which chases away the 90 percent of the people who are there to have a good time --- these jackasses will snipe at the 10 percent who are doing the work.

I assume they do it to make themselves seem more important. Left unchecked, having someone in the back row fragging the leadership results in certain things happening:

Some of the people in the 10 percent doing the work will get gun-shy and quit doing things, in hopes of making themselves less prominent targets. Some of them drift away from the group permanently in search of more constructive projects. A few usually decide to stay and fight --- which ends up with people choosing sides (some behind the jackass, some behind the victim) and splitting the group.

In the case of the volunteer group in question, one particular member has been the sand in everyone else's underpants. I bear at least part of the responsibility for inviting this person into the group in the first place, but nobody (least of all me) realized that this person would spread all over the place like a rash.

Without going into too many details, this person flaunted long-established rules, waged personal attacks on numerous members of the group, and spread false information in an apparent attempt to discredit the group's leadership.

I started out trying to be friendly and helpful with this person. When my helpfulness was thrown back in my face, I regrouped and resolved to be professional and distant. When this person continued to get in my face, I became officious and finally dismissive.

The funny thing is that all along, this person was treating other members of the group badly, but no one realized the extent of the problem until we started comparing notes. And that only happened when some of the private attacks by this person began to become public attacks.

By then, unfortunately, one active member of the group abruptly quit in disgust, and others began withdrawing from the group.

Finally this week, after numerous warnings and attempts to reason with Sand-in-the-Pants, the leader of the group told the person that they are no longer welcome. Sand-in-the-Pants, as could have been predicted, attempted to rally support from other members of the group by tacking together several unrelated issues and claiming that he was the victim of a vendetta.

That started a minor feces-throwing campaign among different factions of the group that raged fast and furious in angry emails, carbon-copied to all of the members.

The leadership's reasons for removing Sand-in-the-Pants are gradually leaking out (puns intended), and the furor has subsided to a dull roar, though several people are still trying to patch the knife wounds in their backs. No doubt the group leader could have communicated the reasons for Sand's dismissal the other members of the group sooner; though how that could have been done without defaming Sand, I'm not sure.

I feel guilty about my own share of responsibility --- could I have defused the situation earlier? Should I have recognized earlier that Sand was a danger to the group? Did I make things worse by forcefully standing up to Sand? (Chalk it up to 13 years of Catholic education --- I'm a constant brooding mess of self-doubt.)

Mostly, I still can't help but shake my head that Sand --- who is otherwise a respectable member of society --- would behave this way.

Is Sand-in-the-Pants a fundamentally evil person? Probably not. I'd like to believe that no one ever purposely goes out to hurt other people. I'm sure Sand had good reasons for various actions; no doubt, Sand truly and whole-heartedly believes that he or she is correct.

But I don't care about Sand's reasons. I don't care if Sand otherwise is the nicest person ever to walk the Earth, beloved by dogs and small children, and a candidate for sainthood.

In all but the most extreme cases, the end doesn't justify the means, and though Sand may have had the best of intentions, Sand was hurting the group and his or her own cause. (Several people who were sympathetic to Sand's stated goals tell me they were actually turning against the goals because of Sand's behavior.)

Well, Sand is off in the corner, grumbling about those big stupid heads who don't appreciate brilliance; the internecine war is slowly subsiding to a few scattered sniper attacks; and we trudge on, sorer but (maybe) a little bit wiser.

And I'm sorry that I'm so allergic to pets. The more people I meet, the more I quite frankly prefer dogs.

...

Turning to good news from the Mon-Yough area, an Irwin couple has "adopted" the members of a Navy Construction Battalion serving overseas, according to Patti Dobranski in the Tribune-Review.

Eleanor and Donald Swanson have a 23-year-old grandson, Angelo Woodrow, serving with the Seabees in Iraq. Dobranski writes that the Swansons first began writing to their grandson's comrades and sending care packages.

Now, they've convinced Irwin borough council to allow them to display flags throughout town and to stage a special ceremony on the unit's behalf at Irwin Park. Pretty neat.

(One councilman voted against the flag display because he's "against the war." You know, you can be against the war, but still support the people serving, councilman. Talk about sand in the pants!)

A Family Dollar store has opened in Braddock, according to the Valley Mirror and the Post-Gazette. That may not seem like much to you, but in Braddock, folks will take what glimmers of life they can get.

This item isn't necessarily good news or bad news, though it is from the Mon-Yough area: The founder of Republicans for John Kerry is from West Mifflin. John Bugay Jr. says he has "been a Republican all of my adult life," but feels a "sense of betrayal" over the current administration.

Finally, if you're looking for something to do this weekend, the Phantom Cruisers car club is holding a fundraising show from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday for the American Cancer Society at the Fayette County Fairgrounds on Route 119 north of Uniontown. Charlie Apple will spin the oldies and a swap meet will also be open. Details in the Herald-Standard.