Category: default || By jt3y

I want to apologize to everyone this week on whom I've been inflicting references to Guy Caballero, Count Floyd, Johnny La Rue, Edith Prickley, Lola Heatherington and others. In fact, I'd just like to say that I apologize to everyone who ever knew me, or met me, or wanted to meet me.

Whoops! There I go again. Well, I'm sorry about that, but what would you rather have, this Web page or soccer? Hours and hours of soccer? Liverpool versus Hampshire. Some guy bouncing a ball off of his head.

Darn! I did it again.

Well, I have an explanation. Recently, I did something I swore I'd never do: I bought a DVD set of an old television show. My feeling is, why buy a box set of "M*A*S*H" or "I Love Lucy" or "The Simpsons" when those shows air for free over and over and over again?

But in this case, the show I bought hasn't been seen on TV much at all since its original run ended 20 years ago ... and wasn't seen that much, frankly, in the first place. It's "SCTV," the low-budget syndicated parody of network television, filmed in Canada by some very talented comedians from The Second City improv troupe in Toronto. It had a brief run on NBC and Cinemax before sinking beneath the waves.

My love of "SCTV" is such that I bought the box set --- nine episodes from the start of the NBC run, plus interviews with the cast --- even though I gave away my DVD player some time ago. Last week, as a reward to myself for getting the new house settled (somewhat), I went to Sears and bought a no-frills DVD player, and I've been working my way through the box set, trying to pace myself, one episode at a time.

It hasn't been easy. I first saw "SCTV" during a family vacation to Niagara Falls. I had to be about 9 years old. It was a episode in which the ghosts of old television shows haunt SCTV, a fictional, low-budget television network somewhere out in the prairies of Canada (in reality, the series was mostly filmed at an independent station in Edmonton, Alberta). I didn't even get many of the references in the episode, but it was just bizarre, compelling, and funny.

I remember being particularly a little chilled by the closing scene, in which the voice of Jackie Gleason --- played by John Candy --- emanates from a discarded TV tube in a garbage can. A quick search of one of the many, many Web sites devoted to "SCTV" reveals that this episode was called "Sweeps Week," and originally aired in 1983. It also won an Emmy for best writing, and was nominated for two others.

For several years after, I would sneak out at 2 or 3 a.m. to catch SCTV reruns that aired on WPGH. I had to watch with the volume turned down really, really low to keep from waking my parents. (Note to any of my elementary school and junior high teachers who might read this: Now you know why I seemed so tired Tuesday through Friday mornings.)

Anyway, I was reluctant to order the DVDs in part because I was worried that the show wouldn't hold up. I used to like a lot of things when I was 12 years old ... BMX bikes, Chevy Monte Carlos, classic rock ... what if "SCTV" turned out to be not as good as I remembered?

I shouldn't have worried. If anything, it's better, because I understand the cultural references now.

Don't be mistaken: "SCTV" is an acquired taste, its ratings were abysmally low, and it had difficulty getting distribution. The sets are cheap and flimsy, and the makeup is nearly amateurish in some cases --- it's nowhere near the productions standards that even "Saturday Night Live" had during the late '70s.

But if you can stick with "SCTV," you'll find it much more nuanced than "SNL," and it takes on much more obscure targets --- Swedish films, Canadian quiz shows and O. Henry short stories were all subjects of "SCTV" parodies, for cripes sakes! --- and trusts the audience to be smart enough to get the jokes (or at least tolerant enough to play along).

The fictional SCTV network depended heavily on cheap made-for-TV knockoffs of popular movies; thus "Chinatown" became "Polynesiantown" (remember when Polynesian and Hawaiian cuisine was popular?) and the Jason Robards comedy "Melvin and Howard" became "Melvin and Howards" --- in which besides Howard Hughes, milkman Melvin Dummar also gives a ride to Howard Cosell, Howard Baker and Curly Howard of the Three Stooges.

Some of the stuff requires a heavy knowledge of '70s and '80s pop culture: Rick Moranis' running character of Gerry Todd, the music video disc jockey, is much funnier when you know that music videos barely existed then, and that MTV wouldn't go on the air for another three years. You have to remember smarmy '70s talk shows like those hosted by Merv Griffin and Mike Douglas to appreciate the swingin' hipsters on SCTV's "The Sammy Maudlin Show."

Perhaps because the budget was so tight, unlike "SNL," "SCTV" didn't specialize in celebrity impersonations, though the ones that did appear were dynamite. Dave Thomas' Bob Hope is incredible, and Moranis' Woody Allen is frighteningly accurate. (The two team up for an "SCTV" take off of Allen's "Play it Again, Sam" in "Play it Again, Bob," which also features Joe Flaherty as Bing Crosby.) This DVD doesn't include Eugene Levy's deadpan Perry Como, singing the hits while lying on a couch, barely conscious. But it does have John Candy's Orson Welles, doing a Christmas special with Dave Thomas' Liberace. It has to be seen to be believed.

For Pittsburghers, an added treat is watching for the Western Pennsylvania references that Joe Flaherty and his brother, Paul, were constantly sneaking into the scripts, like this station ID: "This is the SCTV Television Network ... Channel 3 in Pittsburgh, Cable 102 in Blawnox." At one point, horror movie host Count Floyd introduces a movie called "Blood-Sucking Monkeys from West Mifflin, Pennsylvania," only to find out that SCTV doesn't have the film.

In fact, Flaherty has freely admitted that the Count Floyd character and his show, "Monster Chiller Horror Theater," were spoofs of erstwhile Channel 11 weatherman and announcer "Chilly" Bill Cardille, and his late-night horror movie show, "Chiller Theater." (Like Cardille in real life, the fictional Count Floyd had to pull other shifts around the station; he was the co-anchor of the SCTV News.)

Watching "SCTV" is a little bittersweet, too. These are talented folks, but for some of them, "SCTV" was the highlight of their careers. Dave Thomas hasn't done much other than a recurring role on the so-so sitcom "Grace Under Fire." Catherine O'Hara --- now 50 but still a knockout --- is doing bit parts and voices for cartoons. (Her biggest role post-"SCTV" was probably as the mother in "Beetlejuice.") Rick Moranis seems to be typecast as a nebbish in family films.

Others have done better; Gene Levy is in demand for character roles. Andrea Martin is doing voiceovers and stage work. Only two "SCTV" stars went on to have big careers, by Hollywood standards --- Martin Short and John Candy --- and Candy's career was very uneven. For every light classic that he did, like "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," "Only the Lonely" and the under-appreciated "Delirious," he turned out an execrable piece of garbage like "Wagons East," his last film. It's also sad to watch Candy knowing that he's now been dead for 10 years.

But over all, I have to say that the first "SCTV" box set was a good five dollars' worth of entertainment for me and my whole family, eh? I can barely wait for Volume 2, even if no one gets blowed up real good.

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In other stories, demolition derby is all fun and games until someone gets T-boned in a Plymouth Horizon, reports Rebekah Scott in the Post-Gazette:

Ambulances stand by at each event, and officials stop all action when a driver is hurt. If he's knocked unconscious, they summon a medical helicopter, said Chairman Chuck Sheffler. Each car is inspected before the race to ensure it's reinforced or cut apart at appropriate spots for fire-dousing and driver safety. Harnesses, seat belts and helmets are required at each race, but injuries aren't unheard of.

At a late July race in New Alexandria, as firefighters cut drivers out of their smashed-together pickups, the track announcer reassured the crowd that the injuries are "nothing out of the ordinary. We Life Flight somebody out of here every few weeks, and they're back up and out here again in time for the championships."

Olson said regulating the sport might spoil the fun, or even eliminate the races altogether.

If people want to smash into one another in a muddy field for the amusement of the locals, that's their business. But having attended several demolition derbies, I can't think of any more useless way to spend my time (other than writing free essays about the Mon Valley on the Internet). If I want to see rattletrap cars banging into each other, I'll hang out in the parking lot of the North Versailles Wal-Mart.

And I'm too much of a car buff not to cringe when I see some old '70s Chrysler Imperial or '60s Lincoln Continental getting smashed into smithereens.

"I hope the guy is OK," writes my Washington County correspondent (and demolition derby fan) Tom S. "But quite honestly, driving a Horizon on the road is dangerous. Driving one in a demolition derby is pure insanity."

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Sick of the Swift Boat Veterans yet? Washington Monthly has the scoop on who these "veterans" really are ... and questions why the same people who are criticizing Yawn Kerry, the senator from Monotonous, were praising him as recently as 1996. (Link via Eric Zorn.)

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To do this weekend: McKeesport Little Theater, 1614 Coursin Street, presents "Clue: The Musical," running Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through Sept. 12. Call (412) 673-1100 for ticket prices and times.