Tube City Almanac

January 01, 2005

Slacking, Day 5 + 1

Category: default || By jt3y

On New Year's Eve Day (does that seem right, or is it a contradiction in terms?), being a party animal, I went to get a haircut.

When I arrived, a little boy of perhaps 3 years old was sitting on his dad's lap in a barber's chair, wailing. I mean fire siren quality. To accompany the steady high-pitched drone, he was twisting his head out of the barber's grasp and swinging his arms.

The barber was doing his best, but trying to cut the lad's hair was kind of like trying to thread a needle while riding a unicycle on the deck of a coal barge in a heavy storm. He'd clip a few hairs, and the tad would cry, "No NO no NO NO no no no no no no mommy! MOMMY!" He'd start up the clippers and the little boy would scream and try to leap from his father's arms.

Finally, the barber finished --- I wasn't sure if he had decided the kid's hair was trimmed close enough, or if he had just decided to retire --- and told dad, "All done!" Dad released his grip and the boy bolted from the chair, weeping and groaning.

After they departed, one of the customers waiting said, "Boy! I hate to see him when he goes to the dentist for the first time."

The barber leveled his gaze at us --- without a hint of a smile --- and said, "Actually, he's getting better. He's not kicking his feet any more."

I never suspected that barbers deserved hazard pay, but this guy works for his sawbuck.

Happy New Year to you and yours, no matter what you do for your butter 'n egg money!






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