Category: default || By jt3y

I keep hearing about the President's plan to "fix" Social Security. Why do I suspect that he wants to "fix" it the same way my friend just had her cat "fixed"?

That cat still seems a little wobbly, and I am, too, when I hear about Social Security "reform."

According to "Retirement Benefits for Members of Congress," a report issued two weeks ago by the Congressional Research Service (an arm of the Library of Congress), the average pension for a retired U.S. Senator or Representative is $55,788 for those elected before 1984 (340 people), or $41,865 for those elected after 1984 (71 people). Here's how the system works:

Members of Congress who were first elected in 1984 or later are covered by the Federal Employees’ Retirement System unless they decline this coverage, in which case they are covered only by Social Security. FERS is comprised of three elements: Social Security; the FERS basic annuity, a monthly pension based on years of service and the average of the 3 highest consecutive years of basic pay; the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP), into which participants can deposit up to 15% of base pay to a maximum of $14,000 in 2005. Their employing agency matches employee contributions up to 5% of pay.

For comparison's sake, the average annual wage in Pennsylvania in 2002 was $35,808, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics --- which is actually well below that for other mid-Atlantic states ($42,793). Nevertheless, the pension for members of Congress is not only well above most people's pensions, it's also more than most working people earn in a year.

And that's a guaranteed pension, of course --- a defined benefit plan, if you will. It's not tied to mutual funds or stocks, which fluctuate over time.

It gets better, of course. What do you think the President's pension will be when he retires?

We go back to the Congressional Research Office, and its Oct. 22, 2004 report entitled "Former Presidents: Federal Pension and Retirement Benefits," which says:

The Former Presidents Act, as amended, provides each former President a taxable pension that is equal to the annual rate of basic pay for the head of an executive department (Executive Level I), currently $175,700. The pension begins immediately upon a President’s departure from office at noon on Inauguration Day, January 20. The Secretary of the Treasury is responsible for making the monthly pension payments, as authorized by the FPA. A presidential widow is provided a $20,000 annual lifetime pension and franking privileges.

Now, what about those massive Social Security checks that all of these deadbeat old people are receiving? You know, the ones who are bankrupting the government, sponging off of the youth of the nation, and driving us into a "crisis"?

According to the Social Security Administration:

Retired workers in Pennsylvania received an average of $920 per month; widows and widowers, $887; disabled workers, $851; and wives and husbands of retired and disabled workers, $469. Average benefits for children were: $470 for children of retired workers; $615 for children of deceased workers; and $242 for children of disabled workers.

To save you the trouble, that means the average retiree in Pennsylvania who didn't have a company-sponsored pension plan is receiving an annual income of $11,040. Widows are receiving $10,644. That's half of what former First Ladies get while their husbands are alive, for comparison's sake.

So, whenever the President tells us that Social Security is in "crisis," keep in mind that paying the widows and widowers of the United States $11,000 a year is driving us to the poor house. It's not those big tax cuts of a few years ago; those are stimulating the economy.

I realize that this wouldn't save very much money, but if the President and all of the members of Congress want me to trust them to "reform" Social Security, wouldn't it be a nice symbolic gesture if they cut their own pensions to $11,000 per year?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I just started laughing so hard, I have to go change my pants.