Category: default || By jt3y

Last week's leftovers and other morsels:

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Did you know lap dogs are allowed on airplanes now? Once again I show my ignorance, I guess. I was surprised upon arriving at the Palm Beach airport to find people holding little yappy dogs in the departure lounge. At first, I thought they (the people, not the dogs, natch) were visitors seeing their loved ones off, but that didn't make sense --- just like Greater Pitt, you have to have a boarding pass to clear security. When our flight was called and the people (and the dogs) stood up to board, I was astonished.

I happen to like dogs, but I have a lot of questions about allowing them onto commercial flights. Peanuts are banned from most airlines because some people have allergic reactions to them --- don't some people have allergic reactions to dogs? The air inside the plane's cabin is recirculating constantly, presumably spreading allergens to all parts of the aircraft. Is the airline going to be responsible if someone claims to be having an allergic reaction to a dog? Also, what happens if the dog bites someone? And peanuts are relatively quiet, compared to a dog that's in pain because the cabin pressure is changing upon take-off or landing.

(Somebody asked me, "What happens if the dog has an accident?" I already know the answer to that. The stewardess goes up the aisle with a big roll of paper towels, which is exactly what happened when one of the dogs did have an accident.)

I'm not making a case that dogs shouldn't be allowed on airplanes --- if their owners are going somewhere on a trip, something has to be done with the pooch, too. It just surprised me, that's all.

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More on airplanes: Smoking has been banned on most domestic U.S. flights since 1989. Why do airplanes still have "no smoking" lights? Since the lights are always on, wouldn't a simple "no smoking" placard at each seat be cheaper? And why do we still have to have a lecture on each flight that there is no smoking on board the airplane?

OK, I know the answer to the last question: We get the lecture because people are stupid. During the flight from Washington, D.C., to Tampa, one lady passenger refused to stay seated when told. When we were landing in Tampa, she got out of her seat despite being told specifically by the stewardess to sit down. The pilot finally stopped the airplane on the tarmac and refused to taxi to the gate until she sat down and put her seat belt on.

For crying out loud! How much time were you saving, lady? Thirty seconds? Forty-five? It's a simple concept --- when the seat belt light is turned "on," sit down and put your seat belt on.

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Or perhaps people are just arrogant, including Little Miss Won't Sit Down. Before I'd ban cigarettes from airports and airplanes, I'd ban cellular phones. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, but I'd rather spend two hours in a cloud of chain-smokers than 20 minutes listening to people yack, loudly, on their cell phones about absolutely nothing. Even listening to little yappy lap dogs for a three-hour flight would be preferable.

In Palm Beach, about 200 people in the departure lounge were treated to an ear-splitting blow-by-blow description of someone's medical problems, courtesy of an elderly Noo Yawker, tawkin' to someone back home. (Someone finally went over to tell her to pipe down, at which point she stood up and made a loud, not-quite-sincere apology.)

Inside the plane, each time the pilot announced that passengers could use their cell phones, the air quickly came alive with the sounds of electronic boops and beeps. Soon, people were having thrilling conversations like: "Guess where we are? We're on the plane. Yep. We're going to take off. Yep. So we'll see you at the airport. Yep."

Yes, and they'll be able to spot you immediately. You'll be the one with the cell phone stuck up your nose, and I'll be the one escorted from the plane in handcuffs.

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On other matters: A press release from the Fantastic Sam's chain of hair salons (I hesitate to say "clip joints") alerts me that the location near the Waterfront in Munhall raised more than $2,000 to benefit a little girl from West Mifflin. Mallory Oross, age 5, is suffering from abdominal cancer.

According to the release, stylists opened the shop on Sunday, June 5, and held a "cut-a-thon" in which they contributed all of their receipts for the day to Mallory's care. She needs surgery, radiation treatments and possibly a bone marrow transplant, and the family's health insurance is not covering many of the costs.

You can contribute by sending contributions to the Mallory Oross Fund, c/o Auto Workers Credit Union, 6010 Mountain View Drive, West Mifflin, PA 15122, or visit the family's website at ourmissmallory.us.

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On Friday, I forgot to mention the annual Greater Pittsburgh Soapbox Derby, held Sunday in Our Fair City! Mea culpa. Brian Krasman had a preview in Friday's Daily News.

The soap box derby has been held on Eden Park Boulevard since 1956. Krasman reports the original sponsor was Deveraux Chevrolet. When they dropped their sponsorship in 1972, the event was suspended for 11 years. It was brought back in 1983 and has been with us ever since, and it's one of the nice things about the Mon-Yough area. I only got to see a little bit on Sunday, but the weather was wonderful for soap box racing.

Another kind of vehicle was the topic of a story in the Post-Gazette on Thursday. Al Lowe profiled longtime city funeral director and businessman Frank S. Striffler and mentioned his collection of antique hearses.

Striffler owns an 1866 horse-drawn hearse, a 1938 LaSalle, and two Cadillacs: 1965 and 1977. All this reminds me that I just saw an '80s Cadillac hearse for sale in front of a body shop in Hazelwood. I'm sure it's been well-maintained and it probably has very few miles on it. Did you ever think when a hearse went by that you might be the next to buy?

I've met several of the Strifflers, and they've been very nice to me. They also invest money back into their communities and provide a necessary service, which makes them aces in my book. I could make a bunch of funeral home puns here, I suppose, but that would be a grave error. And besides, I'd better be shoveling off.