Category: default || By jt3y

And now, the Fay-West Area Association of Tar Paper Shack Architects presents that occasional Tube City Almanac feature called ... "Good Government is On The March!"

(MUSIC: "March of Time" theme UP, ESTABLISH and UNDER.)

. . .

Our first example comes from the Post-Gazette (via Pittsburgh Dish) and concerns a council meeting in scenic Canonsburg, Washington County, hometown of Bobby Vinton, The Four Coins, and Perry Como, who was immortalized several years ago with a statue that depicts him eating an ice-cream cone.

It seems that two councilmen voted against waiving a building permit for Habitat For Humanity, the charity which constructs houses for low-income families.

"Really, they're a worldwide money-making cult, as far as I'm concerned," Councilman Daniel Caruso Jr. said.

That's right: Former President Jimmy Carter, a deacon in the Baptist Church and a devout born-again Christian, is a volunteer for a money-making cult. Alert Fox News!

Another councilman, Dennis D'Orazio, said the group didn't deserve any "special favors."

Now, a building permit in Canonsburg, according to the borough's website, costs a minimum of $25, or 0.4 percent of the cost of construction.

For the sake of this argument, let's say that this house would be valued at the Canonsburg median value (according to the 2000 U.S. Census) of $76,400.

At that rate, these two upright Christian (I presume) men wanted to deny a "special favor" to Habitat For Humanity of ... $305.60.

I think that's about what Sarris Candies sells in ice cream in 20 minutes at this time of year.

Tube City Almanac applauds Councilmen Caruso and D'Orazio for their diligent efforts to stamp out rampant kindness in Canonsburg, and look forward to their upcoming attempts to stop Boy Scouts from helping little old ladies across the street ("let them stay on their own side") and the Salvation Army from providing free coffee for disaster victims ("we have stores in this town that sell coffee").

. . .

Before we get to our other example of Good Government ... On The March, we would like to pause and pay tribute to Dr. Stanley Denton, a new member of the state Board of Control governing the Duquesne City School District.

According to the June 7 Daily News, Dr. Denton is discouraging residents from sending their children to charter schools or private schools, because, he says, the Duquesne City School District "will become the jewel of the Mon Valley."

That's the same Duquesne City School District that is running a $3.3 million dollar deficit next year, despite laying off seven teachers, the school librarian (there is no library in Duquesne, by the way), the guidance counselor, and the school psychologist; and eliminating all foreign language, art and music classes, having already cancelled all extra-curricular activities except for football and basketball.

We admire Dr. Stanley Denton's optimism, though we suspect that he would have kept selling those "I (Heart) The Titanic!" T-shirts even as the band was playing "Nearer My God To Thee."

. . .

Now, a reminder to our readers that opinions expressed here are those --- and only those --- of the editor, and do not reflect opinions of his employers or the staff of the Fay-West Area Association of Tar Paper Shack Architects.

With that in mind, we'd like to pause and recognize the Pennsylvania General Assembly, which last year created a "House Select Committee on Academic Freedom" to investigate incidents of alleged bias by college professors.

Obviously, there must be a need for these investigations. As Penn State professor Michael Berube points out, at his university, there have been 13 such complaints about alleged "bias" filed against professors over the past five years.

That's about two or three complaints per year at a university system with 80,000 students and 8,000 faculty members.

With this epidemic underway, it's a good thing we have a committee schlepping around to conduct hearings that one of its own members calls "a colossal waste of time."

Thus, in the spirit of the late U.S. Sen. William Proxmire's "Golden Fleece Awards," we would like to present the committee with the "Emperor Nero Golden Fiddle Award." It looks lovely on the side of a molehill.

. . .

Finally, we award our other place of honor this time to a modern, efficient law-enforcement officer ... former West Mifflin police Chief Frank Diener.

Indeed, a state police affidavit alleges that with ruthless efficiency, Chief Diener eliminated thousands of dollars of unnecessary and unneeded equipment from the borough, including:

• A video poker machine
  
• A storage trailer
  
• Two computers
  
• Shredding machines
  
• A skid-loader valued at $21,000
  
• A pistol belonging to a dead police officer
  
• $10,000 in tools
  
• A power generator

We are sure that Chief Diener's efforts to clear out the grounds of the police station resulted in a cleaner working environment for officers and residents alike.

But is the county congratulating him? No! They're charging him with 19 counts of theft, obstruction of justice, and related offenses.

This comes after the federal government's decision to charge Chief Diener with drug possession and delivery after he gave away 25 grams of cocaine and 387 grams of marijuana so that they wouldn't be found during an FBI search of his home.

It turns out that the drugs had been removed from the evidence locker at the police station --- no doubt because it was becoming too crowded. Well, no wonder he gave the drugs away ... having made such an effort to clean the police station, he didn't want the FBI to think his house was messy!

. . .

In all seriousness: Chief Diener's efforts make the work of all of the honest, hard-working police officers in West Mifflin and surrounding communities --- and most of them are honest and hard-working --- just a little bit harder.

And he's added to the climate of distrust that separates average citizens from the people who put their lives on the line to protect them.

We feel bad for all of the police officers who are going to be looked at with suspicion for years to come as a result of Chief Diener's actions --- they don't deserve it.

We also sympathize with his family: Though some people are no doubt outraged that Diener appears to still be eligible for his $42,000 annual pension, that money is going to be cold comfort and seems like a lousy trade-off for one's reputation and self-respect.

. . .

Until next time ... remember that around the region and around the state, "Good Government is On The March!"

(MUSIC: "March of Time" theme UP and OUT.)