Tube City Almanac

July 04, 2006

The Declamation of Indignation

Category: default || By jt3y

WHEN IN THE COURSE OF HUMAN EVENTS, it becomes necessary for me to work on a holiday, and I have to be in the office at 5:30 a.m., a decent course would be to expect that I would get to bed early.

And if the neighbors go out of town, and their children decide to throw a pool party, a decent respect for the rest of the neighborhood would dictate that said children not shoot off fireworks from 12 to 1 a.m.

Such has been my patient sufferance that I did not, to wit, produce a baseball bat, storm outside, and threaten to clobber every last 15- and 16-year-old. Prudence, indeed, would dictate that such activity would be unlawful, and very, very uncool.

Therefore, we hold these truths to be self-evident: If it ever happens again, than it shall become necessary for me to dissolve the bands of friendship that prevented me from calling the cops on their sorry asses.

And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence and the Pennsylvania Crimes Code, Title 18, Section 5503, we pledge to talk to their dad as soon as he gets back into town.

. . .

Damn, but I hate fireworks.






Your Comments are Welcome!

You have my deepest empathy. Fireworks? You should live over here in Kennywood country where the booming begins before breakfast and ends…oh, mid-August. Seems every citizen with a buck and a matchbook has a bad case of Zambelli envy.
It’s 1:32 am and I just heard a BOOM BOOM BOOM! Honest! ‘Course it could have been a Tec 9 (or whatever the current weapon of choice happens to be in the home of the brave).
Then again, we all have our crosses…I keep jazz musician’s hours (a little context for “booming before breakfast”) and the 8:00 am buzzing of a Lawn Boy has interrupted some of the dreamiest romance this man could imagine. C’est la vie.
Strisi - July 05, 2006



I got in SOO much trouble (bawled out) from a neighbor for blowing off fireworks after midnight on, um….I can’t remember: new year’s day, july fourth? fifth? thanksgiving? groundhogs’ day? anyhoo, irrelevancies aside, he pulled the ‘you know they’re illegal in (our town)’ card. my favorite part is that at the time they were legal in neighboring municipality, which is exactly the length of our driveway and half the width of the street that abuts it…..

God you go to work early.

sorry you didn’t get any time off this week. I know the feeling of exasperation with neighboring noise and the specter of old-codgerism that accompanies it….
heather - July 07, 2006



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