Category: default || By jt3y

I don't know why you haven't heard about this yet, but I assume it will make the papers soon.

I stopped at my local grocery store (Almanac readers know it as "The House of Rancid Lunchmeat") the other night on my way home from work. It was only a few minutes toward closing time and the place was almost empty.

I just needed a few things, so I grabbed one of those plastic baskets and started getting the bare essentials --- bread, milk, cookies --- but I pulled up short as I entered one aisle.

There was a man with a butcher knife, slashing open the boxes.

For a second I thought he worked there, but only for a second, because as I watched, he stabbed one of the boxes on the shelf, spilling the contents everywhere. He didn't see me, so I ducked back around the end-cap and peeked through and saw him stab another box, and then another.

Quietly as I could, I went up to the little office at the front and told the clerk what I saw. She picked up the phone to call the cops, and then asked me something that really chilled me ... could I keep an eye on him until the cops got there? She didn't want him to get away.

I didn't want her to think I was a chicken, so I said OK, and I very carefully went back to the aisle and spied on the guy with the knife --- by now, he had slashed a couple of dozen boxes open, and the floor was a mess.

Bless their hearts, two borough cops showed up within a couple of minutes (it seemed like hours). Hands on their pistols, they approached him from opposite ends of the aisle, and before he knew it, they had him in custody.

Thank God no one was hurt.

The cops asked me to stick around as they made out their report, and the worst was yet to come.

They called the guy's name and address into the 911 center, and it turns out he was a wanted man.

In fact ...

...

...

...

... he's a cereal killer.

(Ya-da-ya-da-ya-tah, ya-da-ya-da-ya-tah, ya-da-ya-da-ya-da-boom-boom-boom!)

Anyway, Happy Halloween. I have a very special treat for you tonight --- check back after 6 p.m.

And thank you to the waitress at the Denny's on Lebanon Church Road who first told me that joke. I laughed so hard that the booth I was sitting in is probably still wet.