Category: default || By jt3y

An item in yesterday's Almanac misspelled the name of a new restaurant on Lysle Boulevard called The Enzone. We regret the error.

Also, a Jan. 26 story about the Port Authority public hearing at the Palisades misspelled the name of Pat McMahon, business agent of Amalgamated Transit Union Local 85. We regret the error.

And on Jan. 18, the Almanac incorrectly surmised the location of McKeesport's notorious "Brick Alley" red-light district. It was located on Rose Alley.

The Almanac would like to issue these additional apologies and corrections:

• On Jan. 19, the Almanac's editor was contacted by Marty Levine of Pittsburgh City Paper for comment in an article about blogging, and in an attempt to be "funny," the editor was flippant. The Almanac has apologized to Mr. Levine but still regrets not being mentioned in the article.



• On Aug. 10, 2006, the Almanac made reference to "Islamic fascism." The Almanac would like to apologize for parroting this trite bit of Fox News sloganeering, and blames the editor's bad reaction to a combination of over-the-counter allergy pills, warm beer, and Jack Kelly's column in the Post-Gazette.



• The editor thought his grandmother's birthday was Tuesday. In fact, it was Sunday. He apologized profusely to his grandmother, who forgave him, because she's used to that kind of self-centered nitwittery. Still, he regrets the error and feels a great deal of guilt, as well he should.



• On Nov. 30, 2006, the Almanac's editor returned William Severini Kowinski's book The Malling of America: An Inside Look at the Great Consumer Paradise to the library. It was 259 days late. The editor thought he had returned it, but found it under a pile of junk. The editor regrets being a slob, and regrets reporting the book to the library as "lost," thus wasting the library's time for several weeks. He also regrets that he still doesn't have the $64.75 in fines necessary to clear his account.



• On Sept. 4, 1998, while covering the controversy over the Woodland Hills High School Band's decision to play the Confederate anthem "Dixie" during a half-time show, the Almanac's editor (then working for the Tribune-Review) interviewed a right-wing political columnist. The columnist said that "Dixie" wasn't symbolic of racism, but of "states' rights," and claimed that many African-Americans served in the Confederate Army with pride. The editor regrets using such patently ridiculous statements in his story, and has no excuse except for an ill-considered desire to "balance" the coverage. As a Catholic he fully expects to be punished in purgatory by Bull Connor and a phalanx of Alabama State Troopers wielding fire hoses.



• One morning in 1991, while making announcements over the public-address system at Serra Catholic High School, the Almanac's editor began by saying, "Good morning, Serra High School," in the manner of Robin Williams in the movie Good Morning Vietnam. It was a cliche even then, and the editor regrets doing it, and hopes that he lives it down by the time of his 50th class reunion. He also regrets not being able to offer any explanation for his behavior when he was summoned to the Dean of Students' office.



• The editor regrets racking up a .010 batting average during two seasons of youth baseball in Liberty Borough, 1985-86. The editor would like to profusely apologize for thinking he had any athletic ability.



• In 1984, while arguing with his cousin, the editor regrets throwing a rock at him, hitting him in the head, but frankly, he didn't think he would hit him. (See the above item.) His cousin has since earned a master's degree in chemical engineering from Lehigh University and is working for a Fortune 500 company, so the editor is relieved that no brain damage was done, and the joke appears to be on him.



• The editor regrets ripping off the idea for today's Almanac from Seattle's alternative weekly newspaper The Stranger, though in fairness The Stranger probably was ripping off the annual corrections columns written by Ellen Goodman of the The Boston Globe.



• Finally, the Almanac regrets that today's headline is a reference that not 1 in 100 readers would ever understand. It marks the editor as the worst kind of snob and elitist, and he knew that, but he did it anyway.

After 11 years on the Web, Tube City Online appreciates your continued patronage, and we will work harder than ever to turn out writing of the quality that you've come to expect from the Tube City Almanac.

Which is to say, "complete bullflop."

The Almanac regrets getting your hopes up.