Category: default || By jt3y

I was home from work about three weeks ago and had an odd visitor in the afternoon. A guy in his early 20s, looking entirely too eager, was on the front porch. He was dressed too self-consciously hip to be a Mormon or a Jehovah's Witness.

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes?" he said.

"I'm kinda busy," I said, because I was.

"Well, I'm here taking a survey in your area about dining out," he said. "You like to eat out, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "What are you selling?"

He showed me a gift certificate to a so-called "upscale" chain restaurant located at the Waterfront in Homestead. It's one of those restaurants with fake kitschy crap hanging on the walls. Those of you who know my dislike of chain restaurants with crap on the walls know that it wasn't an enticement.

"All you have to do is answer a few questions about dining out, and we'd like to give you this voucher, absolutely free, for $50 in free food from Fancy Chain Restaurant With Crap On The Walls," he said.

"Thank you," I said, "but I'm not interested."

The guy practically stuck his foot in the door. "All you have to do is answer some questions."

"No, thank you," I said.

Now he was pissed. "So I guess you don't like to eat out for free," he said.

"I do," I said, "but not at your lousy restaurant." And I closed the door on him.

. . .

I'm not 100 percent sure, but I have my suspicions, that this guy was working for a multi-level marketing company. Only someone who had been brainwashed ... er, I mean, highly trained by skillful professionals ... would have been that persistent, and frankly that rude, when I said "no."

The excellent website Consumerist has been investigating a company that hires recent college graduates and promises them a career in "business-to-business sales." After indoctrinating them with techniques that some would describe as cult-like, it sends them out on door-to-door sales calls.

If you're a recent graduate or a current student looking for a summer job, and you see an ad on Monster, CareerBuilder, or some other service offering "entry-level sales and promotional jobs," compare it to one of these to make sure it's not a scam. Jobs that promise "limited and immediate" openings, "intensive, hands-on training," and "unlimited growth potential" should set off alarm bells, according to Consumerist.

. . .

Another young salesman came to my door over the weekend. He had the same overly-enthusiastic, cheese-eating grin. "I'm not trying to change your religion," he said, "I just want to talk to you for a few minutes."

"I'm listening," I said through the screen door.

"I'm conducting a survey on behalf of the Pittsburgh Pirates," he said. "As a reward for answering a few questions, we'd like to give you a voucher good towards your purchase of tickets to an upcoming Pirates home game."

"I'm not interested," I said.

"That's cool," he said, "but can I write down why not?"

"Yes," I said. "Write down that I'm tired of Mr. Nutting screwing over the fans, and that I'm not spending a dime on that team until they draft some decent players."

He started to laugh ... and wrote it down. I suspect I wasn't the only one who told him that. I wonder if he's still working for the Pirates, or whatever marketing company sent him out on that suicide mission.

. . .

Now along comes a message from Officer Jim about a proposed "walk-out" to be staged Saturday, June 30 when the Pirates play the Washington Nationals at PNC Park:

I've been hearing about this for a while now, and I am seriously thinking about taking off and going. I doubt it will change anything, and I doubt if enough people will do it to make anyone notice, but I'm really thinking about it.

The Pirates and the Nationals, by the way, are two powerfully sucky teams. The vacuum of suckage created at PNC Park that night might be enough to pull the aluminum right off the Alcoa Building.

Average White Guy and Pittsburgh Sports Insider have more. The idea is for a large group of ex-Pirates fans to show up wearing green T-shirts (to represent all the money that the Nutting family has pocketed) and to walk out, en masse, following the third inning.

The problem with this plan, as several people have pointed out, is that the Nuttings are still collecting your ticket money, whether you stay for three innings or the entire game. Plus, you're disrupting the game for other people. But I certainly appreciate the sentiment.

I wonder if a better protest wouldn't be for private boat owners to gather in the Allegheny River towing banners or signs. Maybe the protesters should stay out in the parking lot and tailgate during the games.

Or maybe we should send multi-level marketing salespeople to the homes of Bob Nutting and Kevin McClatchy every day until they start putting some money back into the team.

On second thought, that could backfire. I wouldn't put it past the Pirates to start pushing Amway and Herbalife in the concession stands.