Tube City Almanac

February 05, 2008

Sleep Easy, Western Pennsylvania

Category: Good Government On The March, General Nonsense, Mon Valley Miscellany, Pointless Digressions || By

Cluttered items from an empty mind:

. . .

Law & Order, Part I: U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan has created a task force to investigate people who lie on their mortgage applications, according to the Tribune-Review and Post-Gazette.

Buchanan's task-force, composed of agents from the Internal Revenue Service, U.S. Postal Inspection Service, state Attorney General's Office, and the Allegheny County Sheriff's Office, is targeting people who claim more income than they actually have; some of them borrow money to make temporary increases to their bank account balances before completing their mortgage applications.

Those scoundrels!

"This is a very serious criminal activity we're facing here in Western Pennsylvania," Buchanan said at a press conference. "Unfortunately, we know that this is just the beginning of many of the cases that we're looking at very closely."

In a region where rival drug dealers are gunning down 12-year-old girls, it's nice to know that Buchanan has finally zeroed in on "very serious criminal activity" --- namely, big, mean borrowers beating up on poor, defenseless banks.

. . .

In a Related Story: You may recall that Buchanan's diligence also got that notorious hardened fugitive, Tommy Chong, locked up for selling marijuana paraphernalia.

(Note: The federal government couldn't foresee the collapse of Enron or Worldcom, can't seem to rein the deficit back, can't fix the problems in the VA Medical Centers and can't find Osama Bin Laden, but by golly, if you're a washed-up '70s comedian peddling bongs, you're going to jail.)

Unfortunately, due (no doubt) to liberal judges and prosecutors, Chong is out of prison, and according to The Onion's "AV Club" he's written a new book.

He's written a book?! Is there no end to this fiend's diabolical schemes?

. . .

Law & Order, Part II: Not to be outdone by Buchanan, Allegheny County District Attorney Stephen Zappala Jr. has formed his own task force to crack down on illegal video poker, blackjack and slot machines in local bars and taverns.

According to the P-G, the new effort will be funded by a $500,000 grant from the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board.

In a city where a councilwoman can defraud the government of $44,000 right under the noses of her colleagues and the region's highest-ranking law enforcement officials, it's nice to see Zappala going after real criminals --- namely, little old ladies playing video poker at the neighborhood beer garden.

. . .

Incidentally: The state Gaming Control Board is the same entity that licenses those giant slot-machine parlors.

But it's funding efforts to crack down on other slot-machine parlors.

Remember that old bumper sticker that said, "Don't steal --- the government hates competition"?

. . .

In a Similar Vein: I was telling a cow-orker the other day about the old days of the state store system.

I can remember visiting the state store on Washington Boulevard in Port Vue, for instance, when all of the liquor was behind the counter, with one bottle of each variety arrayed on a shelf behind the clerk. Mom and dad picked what they wanted from a printed price list, and the clerk went back and fetched it.

"Sure, grandpa," my friends said, "tell us another story."

And then along came Steve Twedt's magnum opus in the Post-Gazette unraveling the byzantine glories of the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board --- and right in the first story, bam!:

The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board, formed after Prohibition under temperance-minded Gov. Gifford Pinchot, marks its 75th anniversary in 2008.

State stores once were user-unfriendly places where a clerk behind a counter fetched wines for customers who had to make their selections off a list.


I don't actually mind shopping in the state store. I have found the clerks helpful and the selection reasonably broad, and yes, I have visited liquor stores in other states, so I do have a basis for comparison.

But then again, I'm not a restaurant owner who has to jump through hoops every time I deal with the PLCB, nor am I a wine buff frustrated by the stale, limited inventory.

I can't think of one good reason why the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is in the retail liquor business. Can you?

. . .

WIXZ-Land Weather: If it rains as much today as the National Weather Service says it's going to, I predict the intersection of Walnut Street and Eden Park Boulevard will flood.

I also predict there will be standing water on Route 48 between Walnut Street and Ripple Road.

Walnut Street, of course, is a state highway (Route 148 ... you can look it up).

Maybe instead of the 18 percent "Johnstown Flood Tax" that the Liquor Control Board has levied on bottles of hooch since 1936, the state could institute a "McKeesport Flood Tax" and improve the damned drainage on two of our main arteries. I'm just sayin'.

. . .

And Finally: Speaking of highways, the Angry Drunk Bureaucrat describes the Mon-Fayette Expressway (aka "The Mo-Fo Excessway") as a massive, taxpayer-funded bowel movement. As long as you're not easily offended, make sure you read it.






Your Comments are Welcome!

Jason,

It appears a little of my sarcasm is rubbing off on you… ;)

A good friend, Dan “Futty” Witkowski (now turned conservative Republican… go figure…) once told me that “Sarcasm makes the World Go Round.”. I have tried to live up to my friends credo….

You won’t catch me (an elected Democrat) say anything bad about Mary Beth Buchanan. I’m crazy, not stupid! She is the Princess of Darkness and on a mission to rid the world of evil Democrats…

Casinos will spend big money to get video & poker machines out of bars, stores and clubs. THat is a fight I will go to bat for the little guy on. It is apples and oranges. Monopoly is best left for the table game.

Hey, that’s OK, Rush Limbaugh is trying to rid the Republican Party of John McCain, the best candidate they’ve put forth since A. Lincoln.. too funny! Doesn’t he have a Clinton to bash or something.. Vicodin in absence of pain makes us do some silly things.

Should Mac lose to the Dems this fall, which is likely, don’t be suprised to see Joe Scarborough be the next Republican COnservative great white hope… Remember where you heard it first.

I hear McCain is considering Condaleeza Rice as a VP candidate… I don’t go negative but I’ll have a field day killing her on my blog. How’s that PDB about Bin Laden and airplanes doing Condy? Did you get boy George to read it yet?

Hey! Our Tigers got the boys #1 seed in QUAD A! Congrats to your Eagles as well. Who do they play, Sisters of the Poor? (THere goes that sarcasm again…)

Single A just isn’t the same without Montel and the Dukes playing…. Maybe this will be the year Bob Rozanski sheds the monkey… I’ll still miss Montel Staples bashing the refs in the play-offs…. Hope I don’t have to pick up the slack.

Council meeting tonight. I’ve been challenged to come up with $150,000 to plug the gap left by the cell tower I blocked….

No sweat.

Peace. Out.

- Coach and Councilman Shelly
Paul Shelly (URL) - February 06, 2008



Jason,

I tried to post this entry to your Angry buddy’s blog on the Mo-FO Expressway…

Unlike your site, it is like trying to post to FOrt Knox….

COuld you pass it on to your boy?

THanks!

-Paul

————————————————————-

Seriously, get a clue…

Roads, toll (unfortunately) or not, lead to progress.

Would you pay truckers to sit and get from McKeesport to the Parkway ot Turnpike?

Have you been on Rt. 66 lately? Cranberry via 579? ANywhere near Altoona and 220?

The Mon-Fayette should have been completed 40 years ago. It was blocked by Mr. Cox and the NRA... serious, check the records.

That move kept our valley in the dark ages. You and the tree huggers anre compounding the problem.

Sprawl happens. It is caused by inner city crime, high city & county taxes, lack of good jobs and the american dream to own a home. It happens in every developing country. SO whould we all commute on horse and buggy? Should we all have to sit for two hours a fay to get to work? Guzzling gas the whole way?

I don’t want it to be a toll road, but if it has to, (due to money spent fighting needless wars and political patronage at Penn DOT and the Turnpike COmmsion) so bei it…

I suspect that the Mon Fayette (with Private funding and admin) and Maglev will happen once this damn war is over…

If not, we can turn out the lights in the Mon Valley now and all move to Fayette County.

Without a Vision, the People Perish…

Nobody EVER built a statue of a critic…

Be part of the solution or be quiet.

I generally like your blog very much. You are missing the boat on this one.

- McKeesport City COuncilman Paul Shelly

p.s. GO TIGERS!
Paul Shelly (URL) - February 06, 2008



Councilman Shelly,

I am not sure that the maglev is all that vital to the success of the area. Extending the T-system would be far less expensive to build and operate, and still have a pollution/noise free means of mass transportation. Not to mention a still much faster means to get to the airport or Monroeville.

I do not see the need for an expressway when people are leaving the area/state for the reasons you mentioned. In other words…who’s going to use it? It’s also not a great idea if there may be the demise of the automobile in the next 20 years. We may be commuting on the T system like we did when I was a kid. We might have to put all the tracks and overhead wires that were already ripped out.

On a side note, I bet it would have been much cheaper (and safer) to put T tracks back in the streets of Pittsburgh than 2 tunnels underground. I’d rather be dropped off in front of the Stadiums and Casinos than underground. Sure, still use the Subway during business hours, but divert them above ground for the evenings and weekends.

okay..I’m done..lol
The Dude from West Mifflin - February 06, 2008



I see MAGLEV technology and JOBS as the benefit. I don’t care where they put them. I suspect the first domestic one will connect Vegas & Cali or Baltimore & DC. I want the JOBS in McKeesport & Duquesne!!!!!

Maglev’s steel beam technology is already of interest to the Navy. Probably all the funding they’ll get until the war is over in Iraq, but it will end one day.

Still think who you vote for doesn’t matter?

I don’t like the tunnel ideas either (remember Boston last year?)

T is cool and quaint.

Maglev is the future. We’ll need the Mon Fayette to ship the raw materials in and the product out in a cost effective manner.

Peace.

-Paul
Paul Shelly (URL) - February 06, 2008



Rep Shelly,

Maglev has the same future as ‘clean’ coal…that is to say none. How long have they been working on that project? 20 maybe 30 years ( I really don’t know ), and honestly what have they produced? Yup promises and words….which frankly are cheap to come by in Western PA. So instead of investing good money on vaporware we should probably be realistic about the infrastructure needs for the Pittsburgh region…sewers, roads, bridges, etc. Maybe rehab some brownfields, plant trees, put in some street signs, traffic lights, merge small townships together, figure out how to fix the Pirates. Not as sexy as Maglev…but I rather have the knowledge that the Fort Duquesne bridge ain’t going to collapse when I drive over it. Just my 5 cents.
PPL - February 06, 2008



All of the things you addressed do need tending. You are completely clueless about Maglev.Should have saved your plug nickel.
Paul Shelly (URL) - February 07, 2008



Clueless? Honestly sir I wasn’t going down personal attack road, but unless you’re riding a Maglev right now, or in the foreseeable future (maybe your lifetime)...I just don’t see it happening. However, I’m glad to see that the lure of a ‘silver bullet’ that will drag the Mon-Valley out of its current state has not disappeared. Just keep shoveling good money after bad ideas/projects.
PPL - February 08, 2008



Dear PPL,

1) Use your real name and stand up for your uneducated arguement.

2) I shouldn’t have been so sarcastic but you really know nothing about Maglev. Forgive me but the plethora of apathetic and naysayers in this valley wear on my patience. I undertand you skepticism, I too have become frustrated with politics as usual in the Mon Valley. That’s why I did something productive. I got involved. I decided to be part of the solution. If you feel similarly, do the same. It’s easy to have an opinion. Try winning an election against the machine. You’ll never know how much work that takes until you do.

3) Maglev is a proven technology, already in use in Shang Hai. The only reasons several Maglev’s haven’t been built in this country is because of the cost to build (and all our money is being spent on a war we should have never started in Iraq) and too many politicians are lining up for a Maglev in THEIR backyard.

Who wouldn’t want high speed commuter travel to relieve gridlock? Ever been to DC at 5:00PM? Squirrel Hill? Heaven forbid, LA?

California has so much money and so much congestion that they are thinking of building their own! I hope they do and I hope we build it here. Don’t you?

4) I am promising nothing. I am working to try to bring MAGLEV jobs to McKeesport and Duquesne. DO 1000-2000 high paying jobs sound like a bad idea to you? What would you rather me do? Play the Power Ball? Pray U.S. Steel admits a mistake and comes back? Phone a friend?

5) Do your research be before becoming an open critic of something you know absolutely nothing about.

6) Have a nice day. There, that is as nice as I can be.

-Councilman Shelly
Paul Shelly (URL) - February 08, 2008



1.) I don’t think my argument or your argument is uneducated. However, I just don’t see this ever coming to fruition in the Mon Valley. Real names? No offense meant here, but this is the internet…only Jason knows who I am…oh the mystery!

2.)Yes I’ll agree with you that politics as usual is frustrating, and probably one of the symptoms that is keeping the Mon Valley in the current state.

3)I would doubt high speed trains would be a benefit for gridlock in the SH area. Light or maybe heavy rail would be a much more economic solution. Sure…now a Maglev between lets say Pittsburgh->Erie, Pittsburgh to Philadelphia…or Pittsburgh to Harrisburg…makes more sense with the speed/power of Maglev. A better example for the correct rail/train system would be Holland..light rail through the city, and heavy rail for connecting the cities. I’ve been there and I can tell you that is impressive.
Yes the war, the economy, housing bubbles, credit crunch won’t help Maglev construction in the states. Plus you have to admit that the US has a love for the car. I see more roads being built before a Maglev gets off the ground. California might be interested…and I can see that happening (I’ve been in LA, and San Diego traffic jams)...however I doubt that CA is going to let this technology or jobs slip outside of their state if they want to have them built. Yes I’ve been to DC around 5 pm it wasn’t fun. Yes Maglev would help it out, but I don’t see why light rail could not do the same thing.

4) Nope I agree with you there. 1000-2000 jobs would be a great benefit, but I think you would have an easier time attracting 10 business that would bring in 100 jobs each than one big fish. Big fish are nice, but sometimes you’ve got to help out the little guys.

5) Oh I know enough about Maglev to tell you it ain’t going to happen in Pittsburgh/Mon Valley. Say what you want about it, but light rail/heavy rail makes more sense for the immediate future of the region. Having a high speed train essentially mimicking the job that a light rail/heavy rail system could do at a much cheaper rate is rather a waste of money.

6)Sir have a nice day.
PPL - February 09, 2008



Should I book the Palisades for three rounds?

Or do you two want to meet behind the Voke at 3 o’clock and slug it out?
Webmaster - February 09, 2008



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