Category: Mon Valley Miscellany || By

The backers of the Mon-Fayette Expressway and the Underpants Gnomes from "South Park" have a lot in common.

In a 1998 episode of the long-running animated series, one of the children discovers that tiny gnomes are stealing his underpants. When they're confronted, the gnomes reveal their business plan:

1. Collect underpants


2. ?


3. Profit!

Last night, the University of Pittsburgh's William Pitt Debating Union hosted a forum on the Mon-Fayette Expressway at the Frick Fine Arts Auditorium in Oakland.

And like the underpants gnomes, those who spoke in favor of the MFX aren't quite sure what comes after "Phase 1: Build Highway," but in Phase 3, we're all wearing silk drawers.

. . .

In fairness, two of the speakers were students, and though neither was from Pittsburgh, they did a good job summarizing the various arguments, pro and con.

Pitt senior Colin Esgro, taking the "pro" side, compared the region's transportation system to a patient with clogged arteries.

"The heartbeat of Pittsburgh is still strong, but without a major bypass operation, our region may suffer serious cardiac arrest," he said.

Citing Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission studies, Esgro said the proposed expressway spur between Hazelwood and Monroeville would cut delays at the Squirrel Hill Tunnels by 75 percent.

He quoted figures from highway lobbying groups that claim every dollar spent on highways returns nearly $6 in social and economic benefit.

The completed expressway through West Mifflin, Dravosburg, Braddock, Turtle Creek and other municipalities would serve 715 businesses employing 25,000 people, Esgro said.

. . .

The student taking the con position, Pitt sophomore Richard Pittman, chided Esgro's "clogged arteries" metaphor as like "trying to perform open-heart surgery on a patient with high blood pressure."

The MFX is a myth, he said, like "the Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot." In reality, Pittman said, "it has stood in the way of facing the real problems that confront the Mon Valley" by discouraging investment in Hazelwood and Braddock, where large sections of property would be needed for the expressway.

Even if the MFX was completed, he noted, brownfield sites in McKeesport, Duquesne, Clairton and East Pittsburgh would still be accessed via surface roads, which the toll road won't help.

In fact, they would likely become more congested around the toll road interchanges, Pittman said.

. . .

Esgro was a better advocate for the highway than Lynn Heckman, assistant director of planning for Allegheny County's economic development office --- though again in fairness, Heckman was a last-minute substitute for Shawn Fox, chief of staff to Allegheny County Executive Dan Onorato. Fox cancelled Monday afternoon due to illness.

Completing the MFX in Allegheny County "will serve the greatest ridership of any section," Heckman said, remove traffic from surface streets like Second Avenue in Hazelwood, and "most importantly, offer upgraded access and interchanges in Oakland, which is our region's major economic generator."

An aside: I'm not sure that Heckman's "most importantly" line should be taken literally. It was probably intended to help an audience of Pitt students, faculty and staff relate to the topic.

But it sure rings cold to people whose houses or businesses stand in the highway's path. My house is one block from the projected Dravosburg section of the road.

And it also adds strength to the argument that the MFX isn't really intended to help the Mon Valley --- it's to help Pittsburgh and East Hills commuters bypass the Mon Valley.

. . .

The MFX will make it easier to market the RIDC industrial parks in Duquesne and McKeesport and encourage existing businesses to stay in the Mon Valley, instead of relocating to areas with better highways, Heckman said.

Allegheny County's biggest request each year for community development funds is for demolishing old houses, she said.

"We should not be demolishing, we should be developing," she said. The MFX would support "in-fill" developments in older neighborhoods by making them attractive as bedroom communities, Heckman said.

But no one last night has any idea how to pay for the road. Last month, the Turnpike Commission announced that it was seeking proposals from private companies to finish the road.

And obviously, there's no way to reliably estimate what development the MFX will actually generate in the Mon Valley.

Instead, like the Underpants Gnomes, MFX backers are hopeful that after the highway is complete, new development will happen and thus generate "profit!"

. . .

Opponents of the expressway often say the estimated $4 billion to $7 billion needed to complete the Allegheny County segments would be better used on other projects.

Heckman and Esgro noted that the Turnpike Commission can't spend money on non-toll road expenditures, and any federal or state dollars already pledged must be spent on the MFX.

But no one has even tried to raise any money for any other projects, noted Pittman's debating partner, Andrea Boykowycz of PennFUTURE and the Oakland Planning and Development Corp.

Boykowycz, who has posted comments about the MFX on Tube City Almanac, is one of the highway's vocal critics.

Rather building on brownfields in places like McKeesport, Boykowycz said, creation of the MFX will allow developers to build on farms and wooded areas in Washington and Fayette counties, which are cheaper to develop because they don't have the environmental problems presented by old mill sites.

. . .

The Pittsburgh region has an $18 billion projected shortfall for infrastructure repairs over the next 30 years, she said.*

Onorato and other MFX backers would better serve the region by improving existing roads, bridges, and water and sewer lines in the Mon Valley, all of which desperately need repairs, Boykowycz said.

"Directing all of this attention to the MFX has really distracted people from raising money for this need," she said.

As for relieving traffic congestion on existing roads, Boykowycz said, "it's no wonder people are looking for alternatives --- the existing roads are in very bad shape."

"Trying to raise money for the Mon-Fayette at the expense of Route 51 is really a waste of time," she said.

. . .

Boykowycz is right, of course. No one from PennDOT, Allegheny County or any local municipality or council of governments has ever put together a comprehensive plan to revamp and improve roads like Braddock Avenue, Second Avenue, or routes 51, 885 and 837.

Since the 1960s, virtually all of the Mon Valley's business and civic leaders have been talking expressways, expressways, expressways, even as the Mansfield Bridge (to take one example) crumbles around our ears.

Boykowycz calls it a failure of "political leadership" and a lack of "political courage."

. . .

Yet Boykowycz and other MFX opponents, including Braddock Mayor John Fetterman, are fighting 100 years of automobile culture in the United States.

People may grumble about high gas prices, but they still like driving their cars.

People may dislike traffic, but they like new shopping centers and housing developments.

Two students last night questioned why developing greenfields in Washington and Fayette counties would be such a bad thing.

"You said that when the Parkway East was built, Monroeville developed overnight," one student said. "I'm from Uniontown, and I look at the Mon-Fayette as a big economic development (opportunity) for the whole region."

Boykowycz pointed out that spreading people further away from the city increases pollution and wastes fuel, and creates more expensive infrastructure that needs to be maintained.

"It's not sustainable development," she said.

. . .

But it's difficult to ask people to sacrifice an immediate near-term benefit to prevent a possible long-term consequence.

And today's political leaders, frankly, aren't worried about consequences that might develop 30 years from now, when they're out of office.

From a practical standpoint, it's also a lot easier to bid a coalition to support one big regional highway project than 1,000 little projects scattered all over the county.

So like the underpants gnomes of "South Park," the Turnpike Gnomes of Pennsylvania keep tunneling away.

Maybe some day in the future, when (if?) the highway is built, we'll find the Mon Valley full of "profit!"

Or we'll find ourselves standing around without any underpants, waving at the cars as they drive by.

(* -- Correction appended April 16. See comments for details.)