Category: General Nonsense, Politics, Sarcastic? Moi? || By

Listen to this old radio public service announcement from my (half) vast archives, and see if the song doesn't get stuck in your head for the rest of the day:

Get Out and Vote! (1962)
(44 seconds, MP3, 700KB)

If you're an independent voter or a party-ticket backer, exercise your privilege --- and never be a slacker!

If you want to keep on living the American way, be sure to do your duty on Election Day!

Vote the way you want to vote, but voter get out and, voter, get out and, voter, get out and vote!

. . .

Predictions: I spoke last night with Dr. Pica Pole, director of research for Tube City Online Laboratories, who has spent the last 24 hours crunching survey data, demographics, voter registration numbers and Doritos.

Based on his reports and the chicken entrails I had for dinner, I've decided to make some predictions.

Keep in mind I had gotten into the Dewar's before I wrote them.

. . .

Clinton by 11 over Obama: I know Obama supporters are hoping for some sort of a miracle. I keep hoping that Roberto Clemente's plane didn't crash, but was actually sucked into the Bermuda Triangle, and that he might emerge and start playing the outfield again.

It ain't gonna happen, and Barack Obama ain't going to win Pennsylvania.

Monday night, the "CBS Evening News with Katie Couric" (motto: "Yes, we're still on") was reporting that Obama was likely to carry Allegheny County.

CBS' crystal ball is cloudy. I doubt that Obama will even carry the City of Pittsburgh, though he will likely win the East End, including Squirrel Hill, Point Breeze, Oakland, Homewood, the Hill and the surrounding neighborhoods.

As for McKeesport, I think he'll win the city --- thanks in part to an aggressive group of volunteers --- but suburbs like Port Vue, White Oak, Liberty, etc., are going to be solidly behind Hillary Clinton.

Obama is expected to easily win Philadelphia and its suburbs, and I think he might pick up support in places like Erie, the Lehigh Valley, and even around State College.

But the rest of the state? Forget it.

This goes to prove an old adage about Pennsylvania politics that my grandpappy taught me:

"An African-American cannot win a statewide race in Pennsylvania ... if the entire state Democratic Party, a former president, the governor, the mayors of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, and the Allegheny County Chief Executive are all working against him."

(Yeah, my grandpa was psychic.)

It's a shame, because if Obama gets the nomination, and ultimately the presidency, then our top elected officials will have truly screwed the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in the eyes of the new administration.

But hey, we get the government we deserve.

. . .

By the Way: It turns out that Hillary Clinton could still win the Democratic nomination. This video explains how.

. . .

McCain by 70 over Paul: Someone erected a whole bunch of "Ron Paul for President" signs around McKeesport and West Mifflin over the weekend, including a big one at the end of the Mansfield Bridge.

C'mon. Ron Paul? Seriously?

Yeah, he'll probably pull 10 percent of the vote, but 10 percent of the public will vote for anyone. Hell, more than 30 percent of Americans believe in witchcraft and alien abductions.

Some of the votes for Ron Paul will come from true, die-hard supporters, but the others will just be protest votes against John McCain.

. . .

Kortz by 15 over Jabbour: People who have worked with Jay Jabbour tell me he's a good man. I've never met him, but I believe them.

It's too bad that 60-plus years of public service and goodwill have been swept aside over the past 10 years, as Jabbour has engaged in campaigns that seem mainly to have been waged to settle old grudges and vendettas.

State Rep. Bill Kortz hasn't done anything, so far as I can tell, to have wound up on the wrong end of Jabbour's poison pens. He should easily win the Democratic nomination for re-election to his 38th District seat.

. . .

Costa by 100 over apathy: State Sen. Jay Costa Jr. is running unopposed for the Democratic nomination in the 43rd District. No one is running against him. And no Republicans filed.

Costa was one of the backers of the late-night state legislative pay raise. Anyone remember? That's what I thought.

Like I said, we get the government we deserve.

. . .

Marlins by 10 over Pirates: Dr. Pica Pole recommends that Pittsburgh trade Mayor Ravenstahl and the Pirates to Altoona for the Curve and Mayor Wayne Hippo.

Buccos of Suckitude, indeed. Let's just shorten that to "Succos."