Bob Massie Toyota out on Route 48 has on display a bright yellow Scion xB SUV --- that's the little truck that looks like the box a Mini Cooper comes in --- with Steelers stickers on the doors.
I wonder how much Pittsburgh steel they're using in Japanese cars these days. My guess is not too much.
Gee, thanks, Bob Massie --- I almost think that's a jinx.
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Meanwhile, according to Alert Sometime Reader Dan, one door away at the headquarters of King's Family Restaurants there's a sign: "Seattle's going to need a pity party." That's a reference to the "frownie" brownies that King's introduced a few months ago --- a six-pack is called a "pity party" --- and the brownies themselves are spoofs of Eat'n Park's "smiley" cookies.
They're good brownies, by the way. I'm not sure if they're worth 99 cents a piece, but considering that you'd pay more than that for stale pre-packaged cupcakes at the gas station, I suppose they are.
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Bob at Subdivided We Stand reprinted the lyrics to the "Steelers Polka" by Jimmy "Jimmy Pol" Psihoulis the other day. I still think it's the best of all the Steelers fight songs. My favorite lyric is: "The Steelers are so great / And so hard to overrate / Good things will come to those who work and wait."
That line makes me smile, because it's such a typically Pittsburgh sentiment. Most Pittsburghers do believe that good things come to people who work for them --- which is why we have such a low tolerance for phonies, and so little regard for celebrity.
Without getting too maudlin, I think it's also why so many people felt betrayed when many of our steel mills closed ... they worked and waited all those years, and the damned things closed before they could retire. (If you'll pardon me bringing up Billy Joel for a second, his song "Allentown" captured the mood of the Mon Valley in the early '80s pretty well: "Every child had a pretty good shot / To get at least as far as their old man got.")
And without reading too much into the song, it kind of describes the success of the Rooneys and the Steelers over the years. They stick with their coaches --- Bill Cowher now, Chuck Noll before him --- through good times and bad, as long as they see they're working hard. They're willing to wait for the good things.
Anyway, back to Jimmy Pol: He has updated the Steelers Polka for the current team, though he apparently recorded the lyrics over the telephone. He's not as energetic as he was in the '70s --- but heck, he's 30 years older, too. You can download the new CD here; I hear it's also available at the Fun Party stores out in Westmoreland County.
Also available is a great new song by The Del Sinchak Band --- a homage to Jerome Bettis set to the tune of the old Bobby Bare hit "Detroit City." The first time I heard the opening chords, I thought it was "Detroit City." I'm pretty sure you can get that at Fun Party stores, too.
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Fun Steelers fact: "Detroit City" was co-written by Mel T-T-T-T-Tillis, who appeared in "Cannonball Run" with ... Terry Bradshaw. How's that for kismet?
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A search for "Steelers Polka" pulls up this transcript of a November 2000 story that ran on the Voice of America about Pittsburghese ... and was punctuated with Jimmy Pol's immortal classic.
One only wonders what the far-flung shortwave listeners of the VOA thought about chipped ham, jaggers, yinz and the Stillers. We should have blasted some Myron Cope around the world and really gave them something to talk about.
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Bob also wrote about "Puhlahmahlu," the tongue-in-cheek tribute to Troy Polamalu by Pittsburgh's Mr. Devious. I've already talked to several people who didn't get the joke, despite the fact that the song is getting heavy airplay on KDKA (1020) and WDVE-FM (102.5).
OK, the joke is that the national TV announcers have been mispronouncing Polamalu's name. That's why the lead singer says, "Poh-lom-a-lu," and the backup singers say, "It's Polamalu."
Also, at least one person didn't realize it's a parody of the "Mahna Mahna" song from The Muppet Show (see video here), which itself was a parody of the 1960s jazz song (originally, the theme song to a Swedish porn film!) called "Mais Non, Mais Non."
And now you know ... the rest of the story.
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Hines Ward, interviewed on KDKA yesterday, said he hates "Puhlahmahlu." "Whenever it comes on, I turn the dial," he said.
We love you anyway, big guy.
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By the way: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that The Rolling Stones are going to do "Puhlahmahlu" during the half-time show at the Super Bowl.
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Finally, at the Tube City Almanac National Affairs Desk, there's this column about the State of The Union address by erstwhile custodian of the gorilla suit tradition, Mark Evanier. I can't add anything to it, except to say I concur, and I feel much the same way.
Money quote:
I don't hate the man. Dismissing someone as a "Bush-hater" is a too common way of trying to not deal with legitimate criticisms of a guy we elected to do an important job. I don't wish him ill or failure or anything negative because, as far as I'm concerned, he's driving the bus we're on and if he drives off the road, we all crash and burn. He just keeps failing to convince me that he knows where he's going or how to get there.
As Alert Reader Frank pointed out in a joke that's making the rounds, today is Groundhog Day. The State of the Union address was Tuesday.
"It is an ironic juxtaposition," Frank says. "One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication. The other involves a groundhog."
In memory of the late Don Martin, feel free to go ape today!
George W. Bush will be delivering his 2006 State of the Union address on National Gorilla Suit Day. I think it would be a nice gesture of respect to the holiday if he addressed the joint Houses of Congress wearing a gorilla suit.
And it would be a nice gesture of respect to the country if he announced that he's going to deliver all the funding that was promised to the states devastated by Hurricane Katrina, if he'd pledge to turn over all the records of Jack Abramoff's dealings with the White House, if he'd admit that his revamp of the Medicare prescription drug plan has been an utter disaster that needs drastic repair, if he'd forget his silly notion of medical savings plans that will only destroy health care further, if he'd promise that all our troops fighting overseas will immediately get body armor and better medical care, if he'd clearly define what has to be achieved before most of them can be brought home, and if he'd fire everyone in his administration who has proven to be incompetent.
Of all these gestures, I'm guessing the gorilla suit is the most likely.
A tip of the Tube City hard hat to Woy over at Grabass, who linked to the Almanac last week at the suggestion of Alert Reader Arden.
Writes Woy, "I'm hoping the addition of this quality blog entices Tube City to come to Blogfest 6."
Apparently I'm becoming a real underground success story. In another 25 years I'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.
I suppose I could quote Groucho Marx's quip about not belonging to any club that would have me as a member, but that would unfairly malign the people who attend the "blogfests."
I'm not sure why people are so eager to meet me. Believe me, I'm welcome anywhere once, but second invites are rare.
Take the last social gathering I attended. I spent the entire time sitting in the corner, shouting obscenities, my damp gabardine pants hitched up to my armpits, trying to smooth down my combover with one hand while using the other hand to whack people with my cane. Grandma says that's the last time I'm allowed to attend her birthday party.
The fact is that the home only allows me a certain number of unescorted visits off of the grounds, and unfortunately, I use those on trips to the methadone clinic and to buy Hummel figurines. But maybe some day.
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