Tube City Almanac

January 30, 2006

‘I Baked You An Apple Pie, Sheriff’

Category: default || By jt3y

A tip of the Tube City hard hat to Woy over at Grabass, who linked to the Almanac last week at the suggestion of Alert Reader Arden.

Writes Woy, "I'm hoping the addition of this quality blog entices Tube City to come to Blogfest 6."

Apparently I'm becoming a real underground success story. In another 25 years I'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.

I suppose I could quote Groucho Marx's quip about not belonging to any club that would have me as a member, but that would unfairly malign the people who attend the "blogfests."

I'm not sure why people are so eager to meet me. Believe me, I'm welcome anywhere once, but second invites are rare.

Take the last social gathering I attended. I spent the entire time sitting in the corner, shouting obscenities, my damp gabardine pants hitched up to my armpits, trying to smooth down my combover with one hand while using the other hand to whack people with my cane. Grandma says that's the last time I'm allowed to attend her birthday party.

The fact is that the home only allows me a certain number of unescorted visits off of the grounds, and unfortunately, I use those on trips to the methadone clinic and to buy Hummel figurines. But maybe some day.







Feedback on “‘I Baked You An Apple Pie, Sheriff’”

Having oggled Jason a few times, for those who have not met him, he’s being completely facetious. Try to imagine a combination of Brad Pitt and Jude Law, with George Clooney’s seductive voice. “Hummel figurines” should be read as, “I drive a Hummer.” And man can the guy hold his liquor!
Jamin (URL) - January 31, 2006



Lies —- all lies! I’m more a combination of Paul Newman and Slappy White, with Gilbert Gottfried’s seductive voice.
Webmaster (URL) - January 31, 2006



They have blogfests?

Hmmmm…........

I love Gilbert Gottfried’s seductive voice. I was glad his maligned career was redeemed by disney, a la kids animited epic movies and cable cartoon serials extroardinaire. I also love a man who can hold his liquor, preferably with both hands, because that means he isn’t schmoozing with the crowd, shaking hands and all…....
heather - January 31, 2006



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