Tube City Almanac

February 13, 2006

An Explanation

Category: default || By jt3y

Sorry for the lack of Almanac updates lately. I thought I just had the flu, but in reality, my doctor says I was accidentally shot by Dick Cheney. The symptoms are very similar, I guess.

An update is coming soon, I promise. Expect it to arrive well before the Greensburg-Findlay Township maglev, the Mon-Fayette Expressway, or those luxury condos that Regis Possino is promising to put in The People's Building.






Your Comments are Welcome!

Did anyone else have visions of Elmer Fudd when they heard about the Cheney thing?

“Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting wobbyists. Hahahaha.”

Come to think of it, Cheney and Fudd do look similar. Has anyone ever seen them in the same undisclosed location together? Hmmm…
Officer Jim - February 14, 2006



No, you weren’t the only one:

http://olfroth.blogspot.com/2006/02/most-dangerous-game.html
http://2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com/2006/02/theres-something-screwy-around-here.html

Personally, I have no problem with this incident. Lobbyist overpopulation is one of the major environmental hazards facing our nation. Anything we can do to control the population is OK with me.

Otherwise, they’ll just run out into traffic and get hit by cars. Last time I was on the Turnpike near Harrisburg, I had to keep swerving to avoid herds of lobbyists. You could see where they’d been by following the trails of excreted legislation through the woods.

Or else they starve to death, gnawing off their Gucci briefcases and Patek Phillipe watches to survive.
Webmaster (URL) - February 14, 2006



OK, so this isn’t so funny now:

http://today.reuters.com/news/NewsArticle.aspx?type=topNews&storyID=2006-02-14T200742Z_01_N14310965_RTRUKOC_0_US-CHENEY-ACCIDENT.xml

> HOUSTON (Reuters) – The Texas lawyer accidentally
> shot by U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney during a weekend
> quail hunt suffered a minor heart attack on Tuesday
> when some of the birdshot still in his body lodged
> near his heart, a hospital spokesman said.
>
> Harry Whittington, 78, was moved into intensive care
> and ordered to stay in the Corpus Christi, Texas,
> hospital for at least another seven days to monitor
> his condition, said Christus Spohn Memorial Hospital
> spokesman Peter Banko.
Webmaster (URL) - February 14, 2006



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