Category: default || By jt3y

Frankly, I think you have to vote for him. He already went out and bought the hat.

Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that's the "Bill Hill" who used to own Hill's Restaurant on Main Street in New Eagle. And this concludes today's Trivia Corner for all of the Almanac's readers in Bunola, Pangburn Hollow and Gallatin-Sunnyside!

Anyway, this is a reminder for everyone to go out and exercise your right to vote for the candidate who least turns your stomach. If nothing else, you'll get a chance to try out the new iVotronic voting machines. Frankly, I thought it was easy, but it's a little bit discomfiting, and I still find the lack of a paper trail disturbing.

(By the way, I'd like to thank my former county councilman for not responding to the letter I sent him on this subject. Don't worry, I remembered you at the polls today.)

I can also confirm that there are no secret moves to increase your high score on the machine --- I tried. However, tapping the "confirm" button twice while holding your pinky and thumb exactly 2.56 cm apart in the upper right hand corner of the touch screen will give you a free game.

I was Democratic Voter No. 12 at North Bittyburg Borough's Ward 3, Precinct 1 as of 8 a.m., and when I asked the judge of elections if she expected it to be this slow all day, she sort of rolled her eyes. That bodes well for the incumbents, I'll bet, which means those pay-grabbing perk-hogs in the state Legislature are going to cruise to re-election.

The bad news: Crummy government will persist in Pennsylvania, at least until the last citizen not in public office moves away from the state. (There goes another one! I think he's leaving because we don't have a new arena for the Pens.)

The good news: I can continue to complain.

On second thought: There is no good news, at least for you.

"But Almanac guy," I hear you say, "I don't remember if my legislator voted for the pay raise or not?"

Luckily for you, Mr. or Ms. Average Mon-Yough Area Citizen, there's a convenient list for you to print out and take with you to the polls!

And if he's (they're all "he's" in our area) unopposed in the primary, I say write your own name in. Just don't use "white out" on the screen. It drives the poll workers nuts. (Take a permanent marker instead.)

Important Disclaimer: I do not endorse or recommend the use of permanent markers on touch-screen voting machines. That would obviously be a bad thing to do. I have no opinion on glitter pens, however. If you try one, make sure and email me when you're released from custody.

In reality, this page will explain everything you need to know about the voting machines. They're not quite as easy to use as the "M-T-O" machine at Sheetz, but they're easier than most drive-up ATMs.

(Update: I had misspelled the name of the machines Allegheny County has purchased. Mr. Grumpy corrected me. Mea culpa.)